[Lindsey]

It's so hard to believe there's someone out there for me. My friends are all getting married and having kids already and the one guy that I truly honestly thought I would be with forever is now gone. I'm not going to marry him. I'm not going to have kids with him. I'm not going to be part of his family anymore. I have to start all over and I am so sick of dating. I just don't want to try anymore at all. I'm too scared of getting hurt. I was like that before I dated him and my walls were all up and guys didn't mean anything to me, I would use them because I was so used to them just using me, and it's rare for me to find a guy that I actually LIKE. Me and him just clicked and I could be myself and he made me laugh so hard all the time and I always had a smile on my face when he was around. I didn't sleep last night. I'm still crying. I have to leave for work in half an hour.