I'm sorry that your family is going through this right now.
It's so hard to make the decision to have surgery done even if you know that it's the right thing to do because we know that there's going to be pain and we want to know for sure that we're going to be better than we were.
My husband just had surgery on his wrist and I didn't know until right up to when they took him back for surgery that he was actually going to do it. He just about drove me crazy looking at everything on his condition on the Internet and asking EVERYONE what he should do.
I'll be praying for your husband and your family. God will make a way for everything to work out. Just keep believing.