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Originally Posted by Mandy
Janet, i honestly dont think he means to be rude or mean to you, i think hes so nervous about the surgery that he doesnt quite know how to express himself. He knows it has to be done, and will do just about anything to delay it.
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I completely agree. There are stages a person goes through with any loss. Loss doesn't have to be a person, his surgery is still a loss.. of his health, his career.
anyway, the first is denial. This you have seen for years from him. "It will get better" or "I'll be fine"
The second is anger. Whether he realizes it or not he is angry. "why did this have to happen to me?" "why can't I just deal with it?". you become angry at yourself, the world & everyone asround you feels it.
the third is bargaining this is where he says "If I can just do this first I'll have the surgery" or "If I can just make it through this I'll start going to the doctor more"
The fourth is depression. This is where he will think it is pointless if it won't help him to continue his career.
The fifth stage is acceptance. This is where he will finally know it has to be done. He will still be afraid but he will go through with it & stop being angry & depressed.
I know this all sounds very Shrink like. I'm sorry. I studied this in both nursing school & psychology class. I have seen it many times working in nursing homes & hospitals. I thought it may help to know it IS NOT YOU & that everything he is going through is normal reactions.