|
Are you kidding? SIL is the disability scam king. He's always home.
She and I are past that stage to tell you the truth. We reconciled last year, although she wasn't sure about the relationship between us. She has now decided that I wasn't a good mother when she was young. I actually was a good mother, but either that's what she has decided or SIL has fed into whatever negative feelings she had to the point that it became blown out of proportion to where she believes it. Or, she may have to believe it because I think he has threatened her that it's me or him.
SIL told me one day, when I called, that I couldn't see my grandchildren again. She didn't call me and I finally just went over there because I couldn't believe that she just left me hanging like that. She told me that she hadn't known about this right away, and when she found out, she really didn't know what to say to me. I got really angry at her and finally told her that if she doesn't tell her husband that he is not allowed to be abusive of her mother, there was no relationship. I told her that I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone who let their husband treat their own mother like that. I told her that I was sick of this and that she has to put her foot down. He has done these kinds of things to me for a long time and I was so stressed by them. I love my daughter and my grandchildren, but I will not allow abuse in my life, especially by my daughter's husband. She chose her marriage, which I have come to understand.
The bottom line, at this point, is that she is sick, although she's feeling better, thank God, they are married and he is taking care of (?) her and the children, and I have to step away. She made her choice and so did I. The only thing that can happen now is if she comes to understand that she can have both of us in her life because she's actually the only one who is in control.
I am actually, very proud of her. She has managed to stay well for about 9 months
without her mother around. (She was very dependent on me - she's a codependent type of person). She's taking care of her children, and she made the appropriate choice for someone her age. I am sad, but I feel like there is nothing to do anymore, but hope and pray she figures out her life and wants to include me in it.
But, I am feeling better. I haven't decided about sending flowers yet. I go by my gut instinct, and I'm feeling like they will make it a negative, but that she will deep
down be happy about it. I'm not sure I want to be involved in stirring up negativity. We do love each other, even if we never see each other again.
There's much more to this saga, but they're really just details. What I really, really appreciate is you all trying to support me and find ways to help me. I figured I should lay it all out for you. You're such caring people, you should know what's up.
With much love,
|