[AngieDoogles]

Thank you so much ladies. Your responses really touched me.

I'm sad again just thinking about this situation. I kind of wish this one aspect of my life could be like it was and everything else stay the same, but like you all have said, it wouldn't be the same. I'm not trying to be cryptic, I promise. It's just that I don't have the words to describe the emotions I'm feeling (how can you ever truly convey something you feel so strongly?). I thought things were getting better for a brief period of time and then without warning, it suddenly got worse again with no explanation.

I sat down this morning and started writing an email. I wanted to really put my heart into it so that the words I said would convey exactly what I wanted them to (and the depth of the emotion I'm feeling as well). I wrote a lot, cried a lot, and then deleted it. It just wasn't enough. It wasn't what I wanted it to be, and it wouldn't change anything anyway so why try?

I wish I could be happy with my life, but so often I find myself thinking about this situation. I don't even know why I go back to look at those pictures in the first place. Maybe I should just delete them and get rid of everything else that brings back those memories. Maybe that would keep me from feeling so sad and hopeless...