I agree totally with everyone. You can respect your mothers feelings and ideas, but ultimately it is your responsiblity to do what you feel is best. It is so easy for others to judge when they don't actually live day to day in another family. We all have different ideas, but doesn't make either one wrong, just different. I know my mother is the same way in everything. I've learned through the years to pick and choose what I tell her. I think from now on it should be a lesson learned that when it comes to something personal like this.. we should just go ahead and do what we feel is best and let the grandparents grow old gracefully.......