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Ponyup · 08-13-2007, 09:56 AM

I would think you should go to marriage counseling. the big problem is you guys aren't communicating with one another. My husband & I have had similar problems. He was bitchin that I wasn't helping enough around the house & then when I'd try to help he would either re-do it or gripe about how i did it. It made me feel like I couldn't do anything right. I told him that i didn't want to help because he was making me feel this way. So we have come up with tasks that are my tasks & i can do them anyway i deem fit.

Compromises are possible, but you have to talk about them when you both are calm & willing to work out a solution. Marriage is difficult at times & takes work on both peoples end. If he is not willing to relinquish some of the control then maybe he isn't ready to be married.

I have had moments where i was sure i was done. That i didn't love my husband anymore for whatever reason. However i soon found out my love for him was still there it was just buried under a lot of other crap. The first two years I was married were really hard. it's difficult when you are used to being alone to work with someone else & be with someone else all the time. But I'm glad we stuck it out. We've been married 5 years now & he's my best friend. Our marriage doesn't look like what you see on t.v.. We aren't increadibly passionate or affectionate. When i was first married I thought something was wrong because it didn't measure up to the way i thought it should be. But you need to throw out any expectations & just figure out what works for the both of you & makes you happy. It might not end up looking like you thought it would or should, but that's okay. Just try & relax & go with the flo & remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.

08-13-2007, 09:56 AM	#4
Ponyup Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 659	I would think you should go to marriage counseling. the big problem is you guys aren't communicating with one another. My husband & I have had similar problems. He was bitchin that I wasn't helping enough around the house & then when I'd try to help he would either re-do it or gripe about how i did it. It made me feel like I couldn't do anything right. I told him that i didn't want to help because he was making me feel this way. So we have come up with tasks that are my tasks & i can do them anyway i deem fit. Compromises are possible, but you have to talk about them when you both are calm & willing to work out a solution. Marriage is difficult at times & takes work on both peoples end. If he is not willing to relinquish some of the control then maybe he isn't ready to be married. I have had moments where i was sure i was done. That i didn't love my husband anymore for whatever reason. However i soon found out my love for him was still there it was just buried under a lot of other crap. The first two years I was married were really hard. it's difficult when you are used to being alone to work with someone else & be with someone else all the time. But I'm glad we stuck it out. We've been married 5 years now & he's my best friend. Our marriage doesn't look like what you see on t.v.. We aren't increadibly passionate or affectionate. When i was first married I thought something was wrong because it didn't measure up to the way i thought it should be. But you need to throw out any expectations & just figure out what works for the both of you & makes you happy. It might not end up looking like you thought it would or should, but that's okay. Just try & relax & go with the flo & remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.