The only thing I can come up with about him not being "open about you" online is to protect you. He personally doesn't know those he chats well with and didn't want them to get the wrong impression. I might consider that a compliment towards you. Besides, would
you want complete strangers on his chat board to know physical characteristics about you? Ewwww that almost gives me the weebie jeebies.
And about the massage....I wouldn't worry too much about it. Maybe he just wasn't in the moment at that certain time to give you a massage. Possibly stress from the day or whatever. Who knows? Maybe you can plan a special "date night" where you both have some quiet time, setting a romantic scene, etc and focus on one another. It's so easy to become distracted with all the daily duties that we forget to care for one another.
I know myself I can be guilty about this towards my hubby. But once I can stand there for a moment, slow down, and focus we can them "come together".
Hope that makes some sense. LOL.