|
In all honesty, I don't think you are ready to be with Kyle or with anyone else right now. I think you need to spend time getting to know yourself and really taking care of your needs all by yourself until you can stand on your own and feel content. When that happens, the right man, be it Kyle or someone else, will walk into your life.
It sounds as if you get involved with men who are not truly good for you. From what you have said, Kyle is one of them. I know you have mixed feelings. You can love a lot of people, you know, there is something lovable in each of us, but that doesn't mean you should get involved with each person for that lovable part. Sure, some parts of Kyle are lovable but some parts of him don't work with some parts of you.
Don't kick yourself for how you have been in this relationship. You have room to grow but feeling "fault" is not a good way to go. You are a good person, a loving person, a creative and joyful person. So why should you have to edit yourself so much to be with a man. Not a way to start life with someone.
Please, take a break from any love relationships except with yourself. Go to some counseling or read books about how to accept who you are, to love and like yourself. You are worth it, Lindsey.
I always doubted myself at the ending of a relationship, always missed whatever I had that was good with each man. It was lonely and depressing. It wasn't until I took the time to focus on making my life good, independent of men, that I became someone who could make a relationship truly work, someone who was ready to meet and keep a really, truly nice guy. It's been true for so many of my friends, too.
Give yourself a chance, Lindsey. Get through one day, and then add the next. Life will get better.
|