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You do have a heavy heart and it is very understandable. All I can say is that you have been given excellent advice. Please speak to someone, whether its this forum or a clergy, a close friend. I will keep you in my prayers for something that tragic to happen in your home is deviasting. In time God will heal you, maybe with the upcoming birth of your grandchild will be a blessing in many ways.
Tink I am sorry to hear about your losses to. Life sometimes is not easy.
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