You are right about wanting to go see the up north (close to your daughter) even if you cross it off your list, you will know it's not what you are looking for, and who knows, you might love it.
The first town you mentioned around New Paltz might be just what you want with lots of things to do, and still live in a little town.
Tough decisions, but i just know, you will make the right one.
Judy, i'm so glad your relationship with your daughter has grown, when her husband sees the love you both have for each other he will understand, and hopefully he wil encourage a closer bond with you, and the whole family, including himself.
Crossing fingers for you girl
hope all works out perfect for you!