[Marilyn]

Thank you again for your kind comments. There is no secret to a successful marriage. Marriage is work. You have to make deposits to the bank as you go along to be able to make withdrawals later. You have to decide that you are going to make it work and force communication sometimes so that you both understand what is needed to keep things going. You also have to be able to recognize your partner's needs and be intune with them even if they don't always coencide with your own. It's a give and take but you have to be willing to give more than you take, from your perspective. Both have to be committed to the relationship and committed to making it work. If you are, and you weather the tough times, which are inevitable in any relationship, the benefits later are amazing. There is nothing like having a life partner who you love unconditionally and who loves you in return. We still get frustrated with each other from time to time. For example, as we age and hearing begins to decline, it can be frustrating to have to repeat yourself often, but this is light frustration. The deep connection is there to make you realize that the little things are just little things.

Trust is a huge issue. You have to be totally honest with one another. No secrets. If you do this, you are never blind sided. To really understand and accept this concept, you probably have to make some mistakes. It's like a child who lies and finally realizes that they are in less trouble if they just tell the truth and live with the concequences than they are if they tell a lie and get caught. It's the same with marriage. If we make a financial mistake, for example, we need to be open with our spouse about it right when it happens and work together to figure out the solution. Doing so builds the relationship. Keeping secrets can result in loss of trust when the deception is revealed.

Hope this helps.