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Old 03-20-2008, 05:45 AM   #9
Janet
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DianaB
Hilarious!!!! Ok, now who's going to answer them? Obviously not me!! I'm having blonde moments today!

I will!!!!!

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? because the batteries last so long we forget they take batteries.

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? They know you'll deposit the money and they'll get theirs.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? because they can

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? No air

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? most needles are packaged already sterilized

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because Johnny Weismuller looks horrible with a beard.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? because he doesn't want to waste his power on something, that being thrown, won't kill him.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? They obviously haven't thought it through...that and the fact that the helmet keeps their hair in place for when they meet the virgins.

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the wor d 'Lisp'? Soupy Sales

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why are their still men?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? They're clean

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Yes, whenever I'm looking for one

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? We always have hope...we're human

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? so they don't then have to walk to the trash container

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? Not sure about this one like I am on the others.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? The dust bunnies hop up and put them there.

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why do n't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?' Because we're not only afraid of hurting their feelings, but afraid they'll beat the crap out of us.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? law of physics.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm a s it was in summer when we complained about the heat? So someone would ask this question..

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Most feel sorry for them for being married to the MIL

And my FAVORITE......


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. Some nut must have thought up this one.
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