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Originally Posted by Tink
I'd say check with an attorney or your county agency on aging before you do anything else. IF dad continues to need help and is developing dementia or some type of cognitive issues, it's very possible he will in time need to have full time care. Don't just jump in and volunteer no matter how much you love him. Some who have been mild mannered and sweet their whole lives can become aggressive and combative when confused and scared and you do NOT want him destroying your home and marriage.
Find out if there are any government agencies that might help with home health care... or any assisted living places that he might qualify for. It could be soc sec would cover the cost if it's done right. Once you take him in it might be a whole different ballgame.
As for the property, if he's going to need to sell the place to pay for his care, soc serv will likely step in and your brother will have to buy it like anyone else would. If there's a good chance the cost of your fathers care will eat up any profit from the sale of the property, they're not going to allow any of his kids to be gifted any portion of it... as that inheritance will be gone. Sad fact... but reality often is.
Just make sure you check things out before you jump in and do anything rash. You have to protect yourself as well as your father.
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I completely agree with this. i have worked to an unit for dmentia at a nursing home and I was in home health and saw many families destroyed by taking care of a loved one in this situation. We have several services that do in home care in my area and it is a small town. Try finding one they can be great.