[Janet]

I'm sorry, but it sounds like you need to invite your mom to live with you. It really sounds like they need the discipline and kids really do want it.

I would start by taking everything out of their rooms except for the bed and their clothes. Then every two weeks evaluate their behavior and allow them to pick one item..not a set, not a game and console...ONE item. They need to earn their things back by listening to you and their father and showing good behavior. If the earn something back and misbehave...they must not care about the item so take it back and start over, but that one item can not be chosen again till last.

You've got to be consistant and firm. If you let them get away with something once...they know they can get away with it again. Kids are very smart...don't let them kid you.