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Originally Posted by judy
Thanks so much all of you. I need your support!
I found a condo not too far from her with nice duplexes, a heated pool., and a clubhouse, I think with a gym. It's more of a second home place for city people, but I emailed my realtor to check it out for me. I'd love to get in touch with the homeowners association, but I can't get an address or phone number.
I'd like to find out how many owners are year round there. The prices are really good. It's far up in the mountains and the prices are good. It's fairly far
from shopping and a college, but I'd say 45 minutes would get me to each.
I found out that the weather near my daughter and near the city my realtor showed me (1.5 hours away) are really the same. If that's so, I might just do it.
I would compromise - and and it really is a nice place.
I will say that she is totally annoying and manipulative when she wants her way. In fact, I don't know anyone who annoys me so much. I think she behaves like a spoiled child if she doesn't get her way, and I'm not in love with that part of her at all. Yuck!
Having said that, I do love her and the kids and don't want to hurt her. I will never make her really happy. Janet - you figured that out as you said it in one of your posts. I'm just too independent and love my freedom too much. I can compromise though.
I haven't heard from my realtor yet. I'll call him tomorrow or Monday. She doesn't know about it, and won't until I decide.
A heated pool! I could learn to love that!
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Judy, I just read both your posts and I feel bad for you. You seem to be what's the expression between a rock and a hard place?? yep I believe that is the expression.
Your not a bad mother/grandmother at all. There are certain mothers whom love to spend every waking moment with their daughters and their family. Then there are the one's who like to have quality time with their daughters and have their own time to themselves too. There is nothing wrong with either relationship. It is how you feel and you are entitled to having your own life too. As moms we have sacrificed our time raising them and always being there for them. When they are older and off to college most of the time we are not needed, they need to find their way in life. But they do come back once married.
Your daughter must realize that you have been an independent woman for many years and you are still young. You need to have your own space, that doesn't mean that you will not be spending quality time with her and her family. Don't feel guilty no need to fight. Tell her that you love her and will be closer to her in distance than you are now. You will see her more often than you do now , and if she is not feeling well you will be there in a heartbeat. Judy maybe she is scared because of her illness, just keep reassuring her that mom is close by.
If you want to get in touch with the association of the condo complex, ask the realtor to get the number for you.
Good luck and do what is best for you..
