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Diana,
I know when a family member passes in my family, there belongings go to the immediate family members sons/ daughers, i never heard of Grandchildren getting anything, that's a new one to me, but everyone is different. Then again if you think about it most of the stuff is junk anyways...
As for the remark your mother in law made, i think that was way out of line. I don't blame you for not going over there anymore, All of my husband's family members are like that, there all off my lists for Christmas cards, Birthday invitations, etc. I just pertend they don't exist, life is much happier to us...
I posted a couple of things my monster in law did to me, i need not say anymore, your better off with out them. I know i am..
Just remember one thing what comes around goes around, i remember my Grandmother on my dad's side, she had nothing to do with us, her own Grandchildren cause she didn't like my mother, and guess who got stuck taking care of her when she was dying, my sister did cause she owns a personal care home... so believe me it comes around...
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PROUD MOMMY 
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