[Marilyn]

I've been silent in this thread so far. Lots of people have given you lots of advice. If you sit back and just look at the situation. What I see is two people who knew going into the marriage that there were some fundamental differences in personalities and expectations, but something brought you together. You decided for some reason to get married. Why? What brought you together? What made you think that he is the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? You need to stop and think on this. You say he's a pig and was when you married him. There must have been something attractive about this pig.

Newlyweds need time together. Time to get to know one another and establish a relationship. You need time to talk about everything, the past, the present, the future. You have to learn his quirks and he needs to get to know yours. When you throw into the mix a child right away, two dogs, two jobs and a house you are trying to maintain and remodel. It's no wonder you don't know each other and have not established your strong marriage relationship. You went for it all way too quickly. Newlyweds need to live in an apartment for a while with no grass to mow, and no pets so they can focus on each other.

Whether you decide to try to make it work or to dump him, you need to look at your lives. In order to have the time to build your futures whether that is together or apart, you need to simplify. In my opinion, you need to live with the house the way it is for a while, forget the remodel for now, or sell it and buy something or rent something that does not require so much energy. You may consider giving the dogs to caring family or friends so you have more time. If your dogs are yorkies, I know they take a lot of your time. Get back to the basics, you, your husband and Micah. Also, don't stress so much about everything being spotless. There is a certain level of sanitation we should all maintain, but if the dishes don't get done because you are spending time with your husband and child, so what. The dishes won't be hurt, just put a little clorox in the dishwater when you do get to them.

The most important priorities in your life right now are your husband and your child. God should be first, of course, but you have so much going on right now, you need to start with prayer and consider some of what I've said here.

These are just my thoughts and opinions, but if you step back and take a look at the big picture, this is what I see from my vantage point. After 35 years of marriage and 54 years of living, I've learned that we need to focus our time on the most important things in life, and relationships are way up on the list. Houses come and go, and so do things. Pets while we enjoy them a lot, should not be our focus when you have so much else going on. They live a few years and then they are gone. The older you get, the less important some of the details become.

I'm still stressed out over little things myself, so the pot is sitting here calling the kettle black a bit, but my dishes aren't clean right now, and it's okay because hubby and I are busy living and we have a daughter we want to spend some time with this weekend. He and she are what is important to me, not that pot I used to cook spagetti, or the unfolded laundry in the laundry room.