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I'm sorry that you're having to tough it out financially. As far as being blamed for breaking things, I also would just stop doing too much. Only buy things for yourself, only clean as much as you care about, unless you use the pool, let it rot.
I wouldn't even do his laundry. (I'm a b**** - just ask my ex!) If I was buying pillowcases, I'd only buy one - for my pillow. Hide the toilet paper too, and make him ration out his share.
You're right. At 69, he won't change, but you can.
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