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Wow, having been on the other side of that wall, and really drunk... I would say, it happens.
She did apologize, so I'd say yes between the crying and the over analyzing on whether or not this was a personal assault against you and your house, you are over reacting. I heard the people upstairs going at it all the time, I actually think it is kind of funny and sometimes mock his "big finale" at the end when the bed squeaks really fast for about 10 seconds like clockwork every time.
Like you said, she was just basically used and is obviously in denial or completely heartless. Kind of have to feel sorry for her.
Maybe it is time to reevaluate the monthly budget and get a place solo if you are so set in your ways and sensitive about problems that arise with room mates. Either that or invest in a pair of ear plugs.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
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