[Janet]

Wow...Shada, sounds like you've had a really bad day girl!! It's too bad your sister can't see how things really are, but you are right, your mother has to own some of the blame.

Once your mother is gone, they most likely will find someone else to use and abuse, it's a cycle unless it is broken. Your mother needs to do that as soon as possible, but I know, as a mother, you don't want to see your child, no matter how old, suffer in any way. Thing is, it's hurting them more than helping.

I have a nephew like that. I use to help him when I could, but it didn't go any good so I stopped. My mother signed for a car for my nephews son, he didn't make a payment, so Mom went and got the car and sold it. She didn't get what the loan was for, so had to finish paying it herself. She decided no more helping that family. I guess my nephew (he's 51) called Mom the other day and said he was in trouble and needed a credit card or something and Mom told him before he even finished his sentence that she wasn't co-signing, giving or anything anymore. He has burnt her one too many times. So he hung up on her.

Shada, I think there is one like this in almost every family, not all of course, but most. We just have to know we are doing the right thing by not enabling these types of people. We can love them still, but that's all.