Thanks everyone
I haven't heard from him in 2 days and I feel GREAT. My roommate told me that one of her friends saw him out last night getting a lot of attention from girls and I said "GOOD!" I am honestly so glad he's getting out and not just moping around his house.
I can honestly say I am so happy right now, more happy than I've been in a long long time.
Pope, you're right, the relationship was over long ago. I had checked out a long time ago. I just need the strength to really end it. Everytime I tried, he would make me feel so guilty for trying to hurt him. Or on the other hand he would make me feel like dirt, like I'd never get anyone better than him so why even try to leave. And that used to work, but not now. I love myself too much to keep hurting myself by being in a relationship that I know is not going anywhere.
I am so glad my eyes were opened by my friends who are in happy healthy relationships. I want what they have. I don't want to be held down, I want to be supported. I want to feel attractive and loved.
And my eyes may have been opened by someone else too. It's just a little premature to talk about right now
I'm not jumping into anything at the moment, because I'm for sure going to still be a single girl for NYC
But right now the bottom line is I'm happy, my family is happy, and my friends are happy. You should have seen the relief when I told my roommate! And my mom told me she figured he wasn't right for me all along. Everything just seems to be going right for me now.