So, I'm sort of in a similar boat...
None of the people here have seen a picture of me (avatar coming soon), so none of you really know that I'm overweight. I'm not as bad as they come, but I'm quite a bit bigger than I should be. I have always been overweight... I was never a kid that enjoyed getting out and playing. I enjoyed reading and watching TV. I played some soccer and basketball, but never worked hard enough to get into good shape, so all my life, this is all I have known. For a long time, I completely hated myself. I wore huge, baggy clothes to cover myself up and did anything I could to avoid too much attention... I was made fun of and put down on a daily basis for it, and it wore away my self-esteem almost entirely.
Fast forward to the present... I've been with my boyfriend Jesse for over 2 years and I'm finally starting to believe him when he tells me I'm beautiful. I'm finally starting to see that I'm not as repulsive as I thought and maybe it's okay to just be the way I am...
Last Thursday, while at lunch with my mom, we got into a conversation about eating healthy and weight. We were eating at the mall, and I was telling her about how I had planned to get a healthy sandwich from Subway, but when I got to the mall, Subway was closed. I was telling her (jokingly) that the gods of healthy food were against me. I told her about a conversation Jesse and I had had the night previous (not that important to the story) and told her that I was going to try to start eating healthier... I don't like telling people about this and I've never talked about it with anyone but my mom... I'm addicted to the foods I eat. I really can't help it. I've tried so many times in the past and it's always been too hard for me to keep up with. I either take it too far and start losing weight in an unhealthy way, or I fall off the wagon two days in because I just can't take the temptations. She let me vent and then told me she was proud of me for trying to lose the weight...
She said that she has been worried about my weight for when I decide to have kids (um, hello? I'm 18.), but she's said that before, so I just sort of brushed it off... but then she also said that she and my dad had been worrying about the fact that they think that if I don't lose weight, Jesse is going to leave me. I believe her exact words were that, "...if you don't lose weight, Jesse's not going to like you anymore."
Maybe it doesn't make sense, but I was devastated. Still get a little choked up thinking about it.
So, that night, I joined Weight Watchers online. I haven't been telling people about it... Jesse knows, my mom knows, and apparently my dad knows, but no one else. Not even Angie (until now). I've been keeping it a secret and will continue to do so because I'm a little hyper-sensitive about the whole "issue". I hate it when people look at me differently for what I'm choosing to eat, I don't want people trying to help me pick out "healthy foods"... I know they mean well, but it just manages to hurt my feelings or make me feel completely inadequate. So I save my points for when I know I'm going to be with friends and use them then... and I've been getting in bouts of exercise whenever I can fit them in.
I guess the point of this was to tell you guys that I'm in the same boat...
Good luck to you guys in your journey. May it be as successful as you wish.
I'll be on my own journey over here.
