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Donna, you are doing the right thing - he is an adult and he must take care of himself, as hard as that might be for him.
My sister-in-law bailed out her son, my nephew, so many times, and then she paid big bucks for him to go into residential drug treatment TWICE - he still got out and did drugs. He was a lawyer - you'd think he'd know better. Of course, he lost his law license and finally, my sil had to let him go to jail. There comes a point when you just can no longer rescue them, you have to let nature take its course. You just have to and you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Of course you love him and you feel badly for him, but he has made the wrong choices, and you can't change that.
I hope you can find some peace. Have you gone to Narc Anon, or some group help for family of an addict? If you have, then call someone or if you haven't, now would be the time.
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.
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 Gayle
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