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pope1982 · 03-30-2009, 01:21 PM

I feel for you honey. I went through much of the same emotions/situations and we are married after 10 years of dating, so it can work.

But, and this is a big but... most of the time unless both partners are willing to say "to hell with them" and distance themselves when there are poisonous factors stressing a relationship, it will come to an end. It has to be a joint goal/decision.

I would get so upset and my poor husband was stuck in the middle, torn between an unwell mother and myself. I still feel horrible about all he has been through. Unfortunately, I have become numb mostly to it now and the distance is the only way our family has a chance at working. I think Scott knows this, this is why he lives some what of a distance from her. Seems he is phasing her out the best he knows how because no matter how horrible the woman is, he doesn't want to hurt her. And he doesn't want to hurt you.

Dish it back out to her, and show what you will go through to be with her son if you really like him, that will really piss her off because she is trying like hell to chase you off. As sick as it sounds, I bet she is getting off upsetting you

Here is your answer if you were wondering what took him so long to introduce you. Although it's easier said than done, and had I been able to jump in a time machine and hear myself giving the advice of "don't let it get to you" even 5 years ago, I wouldn't believe it was coming from me! Hang in there if it's worth it, he's going to need time to recover from the years of mental abuse she's put him through by disrespectfully degrading people he cares about and isolating him in such a manner, as well as whatever he isn't telling you. (as a man you can bet it's probably worse than what you're dealing with because they aren't big on sharing especially so soon)

My last bit of advice, would be to speak to other NORMAL members of his family who love him, even if they don't speak up and allow her to bully the family, they've got to be tired of it.
Find out their take and take from their advice what you need. If nothing else, they will help you to see you are not crazy (because after a while, you will start to question that) and tell you not to take it personally.

Hang in there, give that bitch a run for her money.

03-30-2009, 01:21 PM	#8
pope1982 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Baltimore Posts: 673	I feel for you honey. I went through much of the same emotions/situations and we are married after 10 years of dating, so it can work. But, and this is a big but... most of the time unless both partners are willing to say "to hell with them" and distance themselves when there are poisonous factors stressing a relationship, it will come to an end. It has to be a joint goal/decision. I would get so upset and my poor husband was stuck in the middle, torn between an unwell mother and myself. I still feel horrible about all he has been through. Unfortunately, I have become numb mostly to it now and the distance is the only way our family has a chance at working. I think Scott knows this, this is why he lives some what of a distance from her. Seems he is phasing her out the best he knows how because no matter how horrible the woman is, he doesn't want to hurt her. And he doesn't want to hurt you. Dish it back out to her, and show what you will go through to be with her son if you really like him, that will really piss her off because she is trying like hell to chase you off. As sick as it sounds, I bet she is getting off upsetting you Here is your answer if you were wondering what took him so long to introduce you. Although it's easier said than done, and had I been able to jump in a time machine and hear myself giving the advice of "don't let it get to you" even 5 years ago, I wouldn't believe it was coming from me! Hang in there if it's worth it, he's going to need time to recover from the years of mental abuse she's put him through by disrespectfully degrading people he cares about and isolating him in such a manner, as well as whatever he isn't telling you. (as a man you can bet it's probably worse than what you're dealing with because they aren't big on sharing especially so soon) My last bit of advice, would be to speak to other NORMAL members of his family who love him, even if they don't speak up and allow her to bully the family, they've got to be tired of it. Find out their take and take from their advice what you need. If nothing else, they will help you to see you are not crazy (because after a while, you will start to question that) and tell you not to take it personally. Hang in there, give that bitch a run for her money.