Sorry you are going through this!
I do believe a lot of your problems stem from his drinking. It is a disease, and in order to stop he needs serious help. And he can NEVER have a drink again. I dated someone who was an alcoholic and I will never do it again. Maybe live apart, and tell him you won't considering working on anything until HE gets help.
Oh, and drinking and sleeping a lot could be a sign of depression/self medication. Is he depressed about anything? Maybe he feels like a failure. And well, he is being one since he's treating you and your children like this.
Something needs to be done asap. I truly hope all works out for you!!!!