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gja1000 · 09-04-2009, 11:31 AM

I completely agree with Diana, in that if you can take your granddaughter to your home, when her daughter is visiting, it would be a great help. I can speak from personal experience......

I was a step child and I was always made to feel second class, in every way, every day. My mom could not speak up for me because if she did, she would pay for it from my step father. I was very lucky though, I had a WONDERFUL grandmother with whom I spent every moment I could - which was every weekend and all summer. She lived 13 miles away, so I couldn't stay with her on week nights when I had school. The other thing that helped me was that I grew up in a tiny community and so I didn't spend much time at home, even with i was little. I was from that generation that was gone on my bike till dark, everyday. My home life was not happy, but I was happy away from home with my friends and with my grandma. I think because of the support from my community and my grandma, I was OK, I don't have any psychological scars or anything, but I do understand what your granddaughter may be going through, and it is not pleasant. However, it will help her learn how to deal with difficult people.

I would go back to Diana's advice - I would take to your home whenever possible when the other child visits, and other times too. I would do my best to help her know she is a very special person and that she is not the cause of all problems. I would also encourage her involvement in outside organizaitons - gymnastics, swimming, cheerleading, t-ball - anything where she can be a valued member of the team/group. It will help her to stay busy and away from stepmom more and it will help her to know that she is capable and that she can contribute in a meaningful way - because she may not feel that way at home. I would absolutely, as you have been doing, treat the other child as her equal when they are both with you. It will show your granddaughter how things are supposed to be, and she will remember that. But when it is just your family and your granddaughter, let her know that she is very special and a good girl.

It is a difficult situation. I understand.

09-04-2009, 11:31 AM	#3
gja1000 Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Posts: 5,717	I completely agree with Diana, in that if you can take your granddaughter to your home, when her daughter is visiting, it would be a great help. I can speak from personal experience...... I was a step child and I was always made to feel second class, in every way, every day. My mom could not speak up for me because if she did, she would pay for it from my step father. I was very lucky though, I had a WONDERFUL grandmother with whom I spent every moment I could - which was every weekend and all summer. She lived 13 miles away, so I couldn't stay with her on week nights when I had school. The other thing that helped me was that I grew up in a tiny community and so I didn't spend much time at home, even with i was little. I was from that generation that was gone on my bike till dark, everyday. My home life was not happy, but I was happy away from home with my friends and with my grandma. I think because of the support from my community and my grandma, I was OK, I don't have any psychological scars or anything, but I do understand what your granddaughter may be going through, and it is not pleasant. However, it will help her learn how to deal with difficult people. I would go back to Diana's advice - I would take to your home whenever possible when the other child visits, and other times too. I would do my best to help her know she is a very special person and that she is not the cause of all problems. I would also encourage her involvement in outside organizaitons - gymnastics, swimming, cheerleading, t-ball - anything where she can be a valued member of the team/group. It will help her to stay busy and away from stepmom more and it will help her to know that she is capable and that she can contribute in a meaningful way - because she may not feel that way at home. I would absolutely, as you have been doing, treat the other child as her equal when they are both with you. It will show your granddaughter how things are supposed to be, and she will remember that. But when it is just your family and your granddaughter, let her know that she is very special and a good girl. It is a difficult situation. I understand. __________________ Gayle Last edited by gja1000; 09-04-2009 at 11:34 AM.