New daughter in law woes

Can't believe I am to put this in writing, in a forum to boot! But after reading all the other stories I feel safe in doing so....hope I am right!

My son was married here at my house 2 weeks ago, it was a beautiful day and everything turned out just perfect....I made sure what my new daughterinlaw to be wanted.... and then it was done that way (they live out of state so alot I had to do on my own with her aproveal every step off the way) we got along beautifully, she even asked me to stand up as her matron of honor. As a gift to them, the wedding was on us....

At first I thought maybe she was just being a Bridezilla, but as the week went on after the wedding, I figured out, thats just the way she is.

The thing that concerns me is....my son has a 5yr old lil girl, from a previous marriage, that he has sole custody of, daughterinlaw has a lil girl a yr younger than my grandaughter (she is as cute as a button, and I love her as if she were my own) but her daughter lives with her ex husband, she has visitation....what other ppl have seen which I just saw, is how my gradaughter is treated in comparrison to her daughter. I am soo upset over this cause our side of family treats her lil one as one of our own, and that will NEVER change, but my grandaughter is over looked, and not as special as her daughter is to her, it is all her lil one, and EVERYTHING is my grandaughters fault, no matter what happens...the jealousy is soo apparent, it just sickens me. I have approached my son and then my daughter-in- law, as lightly as I can, trying to discuss this with her, but she is not very approachable, and is very opiniated, as in she does no wrong, and is more important, than how a 5yr old is. Even her family, when in for the wedding, went all crazy on her daughter, as in buying gifts and doing special things with her, while my grandaughter was left behind.

I dont know if I am asking advice, or just needing to vent..lol..all in all thanks for whomever reads this, it was just good to say it out loud..even if just in print..