Alone tonite & missing my husband

[khardy57]

Last year when Mark died in October, the holidays seemed to pass by in a blur. Thanksgiving was OK yesterday until everyone left and I've been really down since. Tonight, I just want to sit and cry and I don't have time for that. I need to clean house and think about getting out my Christmas decorations tomorrow.

I just don't have the heart to do any of those things. It all feels so empty.

I don't know if I can do this. I've kept myself busy since he died and haven't really given myself time to just be alone because I knew I'd sit and dwell on it. Well, that time has come and ya'll, I'm not making it.

I feel like I don't have a reason to BE. Mark always encouraged me in anything I wanted to do. He made me feel like I was the most important person in the world, the smartest, the prettiest, the best. I had it all and now it's gone and I'm lost.............I can't find myself....................

[Janet]

Originally Posted by khardy57

Last year when Mark died in October, the holidays seemed to pass by in a blur. Thanksgiving was OK yesterday until everyone left and I've been really down since. Tonight, I just want to sit and cry and I don't have time for that. I need to clean house and think about getting out my Christmas decorations tomorrow.

I just don't have the heart to do any of those things. It all feels so empty.

I don't know if I can do this. I've kept myself busy since he died and haven't really given myself time to just be alone because I knew I'd sit and dwell on it. Well, that time has come and ya'll, I'm not making it.

I feel like I don't have a reason to BE. Mark always encouraged me in anything I wanted to do. He made me feel like I was the most important person in the world, the smartest, the prettiest, the best. I had it all and now it's gone and I'm lost.............I can't find myself....................

I sure wish I was there to wrap my arms around you girl!!! I know it has to be so terribly hard for you especially at this time of the year. You need to let yourself cry and help release some of those feelings you've been holding on to. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make things better for you...I would you know. I've always been told that when someone is feeling alone, to help someone else. Maybe you can help someone who is feeling alone too. It could really help lift you up.

You are a wonderful, loving, compassionate woman, you've proven that in your posts. I'm know someone needs you to help give their heart a smile. Sometimes it can be a simple "hello."

You do have a reason to "BE." Our Lord has a special plan for each of us and he will never, ever give us more than we can handle. I'm here for you sweetie, whenever you need me. ((((((hugs)))))) and more ((((hugs)))). I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Brooke]

I can only imagine how your feeling. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. But janet is right, God has a plan for your life there is a purpose for it. Do you belong to a church where you can get involed? I think keeping busy and finding people to help is a great idea. I'll be praying for you also...GOd Bless!

[DianaB]

I hope that this morning things are better. I'm so sorry about your husband. It has to be really hard for you, especially now that the holidays are here. I'm here for you, if you need me. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) I'll be praying for you too.

[Janet]

I hope you're doing better today Kim. When things are upsetting me, I notice that I feel a little more down at night time than I do during the day. I guess during the day there are more things to keep my mind active. I've thought about you alot since yesterday and I just wanted you to know that...

[khardy57]

Thanks everybody. I guess when you're by yourself, everything comes to the surface. I'm better than I was last night. I had a good crying jag and then went to bed.

Both my sons and my daughter in law are coming over in a little while to help decorate for Christmas. You can't be unhappy with them around because they all have great senses of humor. My boys know how I'm feeling because they feel the same way. They loved Mark.

I think it would be easier if things weren't so difficult with Mark's family.

I really appreciate all your comments. I can feel the concern. Thanks again.

Kim