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09-10-2006, 01:35 PM | #1 |
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Pregnancy, Estrogen, & Women
Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women
> Pregnancy Q & A & more! > > Q: Should I have a baby after 35? > A: No, 35 children is enough. > > Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? > A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. > > Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? > A: Childbirth > > Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. > A: So what's your question? > > Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? > A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. > > Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? > A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. > > Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? > A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. > > Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? > A: Yes, pregnancy. > > Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? > A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. > > Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? > A : When the kids are in college. > > "ESTROGEN ISSUES" > 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES" > > 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. > 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. > 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. > 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. > 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-". > 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. > 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space". > 8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. > 9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. > 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday. > > TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND > 10. Cats' facial expressions. > 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. > 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. > 7. Fat clothes. > 6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. > 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. > 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. > 3 Eyelash curlers. > 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. > > AND, the Number One thing only women understand: > > 1. OTHER WOMEN > >
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Rebecca
"To whom much is given, much is expected." ~Luke 12:48 |
09-10-2006, 01:39 PM | #2 |
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LOL LOL LOL Thanks for the laugh, i needed that!!!
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09-10-2006, 01:42 PM | #3 |
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Those are so funny!!
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09-10-2006, 03:28 PM | #4 |
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LMAO!!!!! How funny!
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09-10-2006, 03:43 PM | #5 |
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Those were soo good!! AND mostly true. Thanks for sharing.
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09-10-2006, 04:02 PM | #6 |
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These are great!!!! Thank you for making us smile and laugh!!
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09-11-2006, 06:20 AM | #7 |
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Very funny! Thank you I needed that laugh on Monday morning!
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Heather |
09-11-2006, 06:25 AM | #8 |
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LOL at Estrogen Issues #1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem!
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