Feeling like a Loser

[Ponyup]

I know I don't post too much anymore, but I still come & read. You ladies are the greatest & have a lot of knowledge.
My mom said something to me on sat. that the more I think about it the worst it makes me feel.
When my dad convinced me to come work for him it was in a customer service job. They had just bought another company & taken on a new type of customer (automotive). I was sent to this other company to learn about the customers. I had never done customer service before. I was nervous about actually interacting with the customers. But I was told I was just gathering information on the customers that they wouldn't all be mine & I would be trained when I returned, so that's what I did. Well that's not what happened when I returned. I was given all these customers. Automotive customers are very demanding. I asked for help & training weekly with no results. After about a month of 12hour days, sleepless nights, & weight loss. I decided I couldn't do this. So I told my dad, in tears & was moved to another place.

Well now everytime I mention wanting to do more with my life, my mom throws in my face the fact that I was given more & I couldn't handle it. Right now I work in a data entry type position. I wanna do more I just don't know what yet. But from what my mom said I will never get that chance in this company because I was given the oportunity & i couldn't handle it. I personally don't think this is fair. I feel with the right training & preparation I would of been fine. But I wasn't going to continue beating my head against a wall & costing the company money.

I guess I just needed to vent. I guess it just hurts because she continues to throw this one preceived failure in my face & i don't know how to handle it. I really wanna tell her to stick it & move on, but I was raised better than that.

[blowry]

You are NOT a loser. Customer Service isn't for everyone. I am 50 yrs old and done some sort of a customer service my entire working life. Not everyone is cut out for the stress that can come along with Customer Service. You have to be tough on the outside and not take what they say to heart. People can be very demanding and, some don't care how they make you feel...It's all about them...which it is.....because we wouldn't have jobs if it wasn't for the customers. However, being a Mom of 2 grown girls myself, I WOULD NEVER tell them anything like that. I give you A LOT of credit for trying...This just isn't the position for you. Could you talk to your Mom and tell her how she made you feel? and if that doesn't work then maybe your Dad? Explain to him that you need more training and that you don't want to give up.

Hang in there kiddo! Everything will work out for you

Hugs,
Brenda

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by blowry

You are NOT a loser. Customer Service isn't for everyone. I am 50 yrs old and done some sort of a customer service my entire working life. Not everyone is cut out for the stress that can come along with Customer Service. You have to be tough on the outside and not take what they say to heart. People can be very demanding and, some don't care how they make you feel...It's all about them...which it is.....because we wouldn't have jobs if it wasn't for the customers. However, being a Mom of 2 grown girls myself, I WOULD NEVER tell them anything like that. I give you A LOT of credit for trying...This just isn't the position for you. Could you talk to your Mom and tell her how she made you feel? and if that doesn't work then maybe your Dad? Explain to him that you need more training and that you don't want to give up.

Hang in there kiddo! Everything will work out for you

Hugs,
Brenda

I guess I didn't make it clear, but I moved out of customer service 3 years ago. Now I'm looking to move up, I want more responsibility, but she keeps throwing this in my face. Talking to my mom is pointless. Most of the time we get on just fine, but when she feels she's right about something there is no changing her mind. I actually considered speaking with my dad, but we don't have the closet relationship....I'm terrified to talk to him, in fact. I'm afraid of wasting his time with mindless chatter, he's a very busy man who seems to find my chatty ness annoying. I have a management degree & am considering moving forward with it, but because of this one incident my mom feels I'm not emotionally tough enough to handle the pressure that would come with it. I'm not sure if that's true or not. I think if I were prepared I would do just fine....that seems to be how it has worked for me in the past. I'm just afraid I might not have that opportunity here because I've given the impression that I can't handle it.

[blowry]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I guess I didn't make it clear, but I moved out of customer service 3 years ago. Now I'm looking to move up, I want more responsibility, but she keeps throwing this in my face. Talking to my mom is pointless. Most of the time we get on just fine, but when she feels she's right about something there is no changing her mind. I actually considered speaking with my dad, but we don't have the closet relationship....I'm terrified to talk to him, in fact. I'm afraid of wasting his time with mindless chatter, he's a very busy man who seems to find my chatty ness annoying. I have a management degree & am considering moving forward with it, but because of this one incident my mom feels I'm not emotionally tough enough to handle the pressure that would come with it. I'm not sure if that's true or not. I think if I were prepared I would do just fine....that seems to be how it has worked for me in the past. I'm just afraid I might not have that opportunity here because I've given the impression that I can't handle it.

OHHHH! I thought you were doing CS now!!! so sorry...my mistake!
If you don't mind me saying so...it doesn't sound like you have a very good relationship with your parents. My suggestion to you would be to move on....out of your fathers company and use your management skills. Start out with another company and work your way up the ladder. I have always told my daughters.."Don't say you CAN'T do something unless you have tried and failed" this is the only way you will know. If you set your mind to ANYTHING you will succeed. Tell yourself that you can, and will, do it and you will. Show your Mom you can do it.

Good Luck!

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by blowry

OHHHH! I thought you were doing CS now!!! so sorry...my mistake!
If you don't mind me saying so...it doesn't sound like you have a very good relationship with your parents. My suggestion to you would be to move on....out of your fathers company and use your management skills. Start out with another company and work your way up the ladder. I have always told my daughters.."Don't say you CAN'T do something unless you have tried and failed" this is the only way you will know. If you set your mind to ANYTHING you will succeed. Tell yourself that you can, and will, do it and you will. Show your Mom you can do it.

Good Luck!

You are correct, my relationship with the parents is strained at best. My dad worked a lot as a kid so I never really got to know him. And in my mom's eyes I was a very distant second to my wonderful brother. I'm scared to try to find something else. I'm have a hard time selling myself. Plus I have no idea what I really want to pursue. But I have a few days off this week & i think I'm going to do some major soul searching. Going back to school is also an option. I just need to find a direction. Plus a little therapy to help with my self esteem probably wouldn't hurt either.

Thanks, for listening & being so supportive.

[blowry]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

You are correct, my relationship with the parents is strained at best. My dad worked a lot as a kid so I never really got to know him. And in my mom's eyes I was a very distant second to my wonderful brother. I'm scared to try to find something else. I'm have a hard time selling myself. Plus I have no idea what I really want to pursue. But I have a few days off this week & i think I'm going to do some major soul searching. Going back to school is also an option. I just need to find a direction. Plus a little therapy to help with my self esteem probably wouldn't hurt either.

Thanks, for listening & being so supportive.

I was going to suggest maybe seeing someone. It never hurts to talk to someone that is a professional..I am assuming that you are young...and if so...you have many years ahead of you to do and be what you want. I sorry to hear that your Mom has put your second to your brother...all the more reason to show her that you can do ANYTHING!! Anytime you want to talk or need someone to listen I will be here for you...just remember Blowry...you can pm me anytime you want...Good luck to you and NEVER give up!


Big Hugs!
Brenda