Feeling cramped!

[Tink]

My 21 yr old son and 19 yr old daughter have both moved back home. They each have a "sweetie" who they bring over often. A young man who has been like a son to us for several years (and is close friends with both of the kids) is currently staying with us, plus of course Dh and I, Moses, Canada, the 12 puppies, and our cat all live here. This is a small 2 bedroom house we bought with "empty nest retirement years" in mind. It's less than 1000 sq ft!

To say we're cramped is an understatment!
We have one bathroom... NIGHTMARE trying to get a shower!
Our living room is overflowing with people all wanting to watch/do different things at the same time.
Our garage is full of all the STUFF they dragged home with them.
DH and I feel we're being pressed right out of our own home.

SO something's got to be done. How much time is ENOUGH time to give them all to get on their feet and fly the coop?
What's a reasonable amount to expect them all to kick in for expenses in the meantime? We're going broke feeding them all, and paying for all the extras that keeping them involves!
I don't mind helping out, but am really sick of tripping over people and their STUFF.
I want my privacy and sanity back but don't want to make enemies in the process.
HELP!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Tink

My 21 yr old son and 19 yr old daughter have both moved back home. They each have a "sweetie" who they bring over often. A young man who has been like a son to us for several years (and is close friends with both of the kids) is currently staying with us, plus of course Dh and I, Moses, Canada, the 12 puppies, and our cat all live here. This is a small 2 bedroom house we bought with "empty nest retirement years" in mind. It's less than 1000 sq ft!

To say we're cramped is an understatment!
We have one bathroom... NIGHTMARE trying to get a shower!
Our living room is overflowing with people all wanting to watch/do different things at the same time.
Our garage is full of all the STUFF they dragged home with them.
DH and I feel we're being pressed right out of our own home.

SO something's got to be done. How much time is ENOUGH time to give them all to get on their feet and fly the coop?
What's a reasonable amount to expect them all to kick in for expenses in the meantime? We're going broke feeding them all, and paying for all the extras that keeping them involves!
I don't mind helping out, but am really sick of tripping over people and their STUFF.
I want my privacy and sanity back but don't want to make enemies in the process.
HELP!

Tink you are such a wonderful person, but honey, you really need to "JUST SAY NO!!" That was a rule my mother had for all four of us kids...we were to be sure when we moved out, because once we were out, we couldn't come back...only for visits.

At the bare minimum, I would charge $50 a week for them to stay there and another $25 a week if they want to eat. Where else can they live that cheap? You may even want to charge more just for the inconvenience...it's sad that they can see what it's doing to you themselves. I would give them no more than 30 days to get out.

If it goes on much longer it will get harder. I've always been a firm believer that you can only be walked on when you're lying down.

[judy]

When I got a part-time job, as a young teenager, I was expected to give $15.00/week to my parents. There was no sit down, family meeting, explanation, etc.
I was told that I had to chip in and that was it! I didn't even mind. It just wasn't an option.

My parents were by no means poor. We just were raised that way. My mother did surprise me later on. When I was planning my first wedding, she very unexpectedly handed me all of the money she had collected from me over the years for me to buy myself a trousseau. Had she not, I wouldn't have minded giving that money over.

(Actually, I was a "hippie" in those days and had no need for a trousseau - I only wore jeans. But that's a story for another thread).

[AngieDoogles]

Yikes Tink! That does sound cramped. Hopefully, the children will be out on their own soon and you can have your house back!

Judy, I'd LOVE to hear that story sometime. Go make a thread NOW. lol

[patty58]

I feel your pain!! My daughter and her 2 daughters live with us and we support them all while my daughter is going to school. In the 39 years we have been married we have had the first 3 years before kids and after kids about 6 months. This is not how we planned to spend our retirement. Don't get me wrong, we are very glad to be able to help them out but we keep wondering when will it end???

[judy]

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

Yikes Tink! That does sound cramped. Hopefully, the children will be out on their own soon and you can have your house back!

Judy, I'd LOVE to hear that story sometime. Go make a thread NOW. lol

That's a story and a half. I'll surprise you one day when I gather the energy to talk about those days. I'll tell you this though - it was a wonderful time to grow up!

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by judy

That's a story and a half. I'll surprise you one day when I gather the energy to talk about those days. I'll tell you this though - it was a wonderful time to grow up!

I'll be looking forward to it.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by judy

That's a story and a half. I'll surprise you one day when I gather the energy to talk about those days. I'll tell you this though - it was a wonderful time to grow up!

Don't forget Judy, pictures are great with stories...lol