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11-16-2006, 09:46 AM
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#1 |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member 
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Wal Mart Application
Rec'd this in an email and thought it was funny....
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas They hired him because he was so funny..... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard) SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place ? DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m . Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now NEAREST RELATIVE.7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. ***Old People Rock!***
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1 |
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11-16-2006, 11:31 AM
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#2 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The Lone Star State
Posts: 671
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LOLOLOL!!!! That's too funny!
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Kimberley  "If you can read this, thank a teacher and since it's in English, thank a soldier" |
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11-16-2006, 01:14 PM
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#3 |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 13K Club Member 
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Location: Kansas
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He certainly was original with his answers!!!
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*´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends.......
Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!! |
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11-16-2006, 02:43 PM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 668
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Hahaha, that's funny!
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 Taurus Babe aka Thorsmomma
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11-16-2006, 03:18 PM
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#5 |
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Donating 4WT 500 Club Member
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Very cute...made me laugh lol
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11-16-2006, 08:32 PM
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#6 |
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Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Texas
Posts: 4,907
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LOL.....This is great!!! I read it to my hubby and he loved it, too!!
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 Marilyn If anyone would like a free Bible Study CD or book entitled "Searching for Truth", PM me with your mailing address and I'll send you one. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32
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