So tired, can't sleep

[Lindsey]

Hey everyone... for those of you who have been around for awhile, you may remember I had a friend in college who secretly dated my roommate, and would come over nightly and they'd do their thing loudly and keep me awake. WELL I think I've come to the conclusion that I need to either live alone or have celibate roommates.
Tonight I was visiting my parents and my grandma, then I came home and went to bed early because I haven't been feeling well for the past couple of weeks. My brother I think must have come home at some point from the bar, but I didn't hear him come in. My roommate was out tonight too and I didn't hear her come in. But I did hear her AFTER she came in, with whatever guy she decided to bring home from the bar, being VERY VERY LOUD on the other side of my bedroom wall. I coughed loudly so they'd know I was awake, but either they didn't hear, or they chose to ignore it. When they were done, he immediately got up, got dressed, and asked if the door was locked. She went down and fiddled with the lock, and I thought he was leaving. The door didn't open and close. And then I heard a guy coughing downstairs....... so it looks like she just randomly hooked up with one of my brother's friends and is trying to pretend like nothing happened, like he was just sleeping on the couch downstairs all night.
Anyways, it's almost 6 now, the time I'm supposed to get up, and I have not slept a WINK since 2 am. Oh everyone else is sleeping nice and peacefully, have been for hours, but I just feel so awkward and uncomfortable. And then after being woke up like that I keep looking at the clock and panicking because I know I NEED to sleep because I need to wake up soon.
Am I overreacting? She has the right to do whatever she feels like doing in her life, but I just think it's so rude to be so LOUD about it when there are other people in the house... or to even have to do that at all with other people in the house!!!!!!
I'm just so angry and upset right now I'm crying. My body is so tired I feel sick to my stomach but my mind just won't stop panicking about how screwed up my day is going to be now because I haven't slept.
All I keep thinking is how badly I want to just get out of this place.

[gja1000]

I'm sorry Lindsay. I get really panicky when I can't sleep and I know I have a big or long day ahead. It's just miserable. I think it is rude to be disrespectful of others. It is difficult enough living with others - but when they aren't respectful of you, that must make it even worse. I remember having roommates, it is not easy living with someone else, temporarily. Have you tried talking to her - I'm sure you have.

I hope things get better!

[Lindsey]

Thanks Gayle. It really is hard living with other people, especially in this case when we've been friends since we were about 8 years old. It really hasn't made our friendship stronger, that's for sure.
I haven't talked to her about this stuff, because it hasn't really been that bad. She had a boyfriend about a year ago and it happened quite a bit then, but they broke up after about a month, and since then she's never brought random guys HERE but she has went home with them. I know when she was in college she was... well I don't want to use names... she had a LOT of male friends. Like high double digits. And she always insists she has changed since then, but I think all that's changed is that she doesn't talk about it with everyone anymore. For goodness sakes, last night this guy got up literally a second after they were done, put on his clothes, and walked out of her room. Does that not make her feel like dirt??? I couldn't IMAGINE doing that over and over and over.
I wish I didn't have to deal with it. I lived by myself for a year and it was the best. In this city I can't afford it.

[Janet]

Lindsey, even if she doesn't have someone over often, I would still let her know that if and when she does again, that you would appreciate her controlling the noise...that you don't want to hear it. Ask how she would feel if you did it and kept her awake? If talking to her doesn't work...then knock loudly on the wall, that ought to make the snake shrivel up...LOL

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by Janet

Lindsey, even if she doesn't have someone over often, I would still let her know that if and when she does again, that you would appreciate her controlling the noise...that you don't want to hear it. Ask how she would feel if you did it and kept her awake? If talking to her doesn't work...then knock loudly on the wall, that ought to make the snake shrivel up...LOL

LOL!!!!!!!! That was great, you got a smile out of me
I just don't know how to even bring it up to her. If she mentions a guy she met, or a guy she brought home, or whatever, I can just say "Yeah I heard it" but if she doesn't bring anything up at all, I don't think I can. I did make sure my facebook status mentioned how I haven't slept since 2 am... this girl LIVES on facebook so I'm sure she'll see that. I'm just trying to be subtle because I don't want to barge in and be angry about it... I don't want to ruin the friendship further and make it impossible to live together...

[Janet]

The next time you see her, just come right out and tell her. Just say...."I almost forgot, I wanted to mention something to you. The other night with you had a guest, I don't want to embarass you, but I could hear what was going on and it kept me awake. If you could, I'd really appreciate you trying to keep it a little more quiet, I would really appreciate it".

I think that sounds nice and respectful without coming down like a madwoman. I on the other hand would have walked in their room and thrown some ice water on them, tell them I need my sleep and watched it shrivel up like a prune...lolo