Such A Long Hard Day

[Janet]

As soon as I got done with my bus route and speaking with a first grade class about bus safety, I headed over to see Mom. I didn't visit her yesterday because I was planning to go after my afternoon route but it was so hot on the bus that I ended up with a queezy stomach.

When I got to the hospital Mom didn't look good at all. Her legs and arms are swelling. The infectious disease Dr. asked to speak with me so I knew it wasn't a good thing. She told me that once Mom was in the nursing home, that if she were to get worse, that she really didn't need to be brought back to the hospital....there is nothing left to be done for her. She said the C-diff infection was no longer responding to the antibiotics...that it didn't look like it was going to go away. Also....she said that we should consider stopping dialysis. That with her urine output...basically none...she would pass away within a week if it was God's will. I discussed it with my brothers and my older brother would like her to continue on dialysis for at least a week....so I said okay. Then we will decide what to do after that.

I got a call that Mom was going to be transferred to the nursing home at 5:30 PM. By the time the hospital had her ready to go she made it about 7:30. It was very hard for me....probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Sitting there filling out all the paperwork.

I know it's too late, but to make a longer story short, she is in the nursing home. She's really not knowing too much of what's going on right now, so I'll go back tomorrow afternoon as suggested by the Director of Nursing. She is such a wonderful lady and I already love her. Everyone there is so much more friendly and caring than at Mulberry.

Right now she is sharing a room with a pretty 'loud' woman named LaDora. She's very friendly and joins in every conservation...lol. Mom will be with her until Monday and then Mom will be moved into a private room for awhile. So....it's done...for now.

I have never cried this hard and for this long in my entire life. I'm exhausted.

[Tiramisu]

You are in my thoughts, prayers and heart.

[gja1000]

Oh Janet, this is such a hard hard hard time. I'm so sorry that you, or anyone for that matter, has to go through this. Right now, there are not many words of comfort except to say that you have been such a wonderful daughter and you have made the last weeks for your mom really good ones. I hope you know what a wonderful person you are. Your mom is very lucky to have you for a daughter.

[judy]

Janet, I am so sorry. This is hard for you, and nobody can take the pain from you that she will be gone soon. You have done so much for her, and now God will take care. She is not suffering, and that is because you made sure of that.

Prayers for you, Janet and Mom.

[DianaB]

Oh Janet. What a hard thing to hear. I'm so sorry that it's come to this. You and your Mom and the rest of the family are in my prayers. Hugs!!

[Shada]

Hugs to you Janet.
You are doing what is best for your Mom. I know its not easy. I don't even know what to say. Just know that your friends care, that we are all with you and praying.
Judy wrote a beautiful note. God has her in his hands.
Hugs and Prayers are with you.

[DianeW]

Janet...so very sorry for you and your family and also poor Mum too.

Janet when i went through it with my aunt, i had a little talk to myself, about how much her quality of life was not as it should be, my aunt was always a very fun, independant, and proud woman, and it really upset her over the last few years that her body was letting her down so much. She always used to say to me "in my head i can do what i want.....but my body is telling me different"
I know she would not have wanted to be here after her illness, which would have made her even more dependant, even though it was hard to see her go, i knew in my heart of hearts it was for the best for her.

You are a strong person Janet, and you will get through it too, as i have had to, it is very hard, i have to care for my Uncle who misses her so much and is just a little lost soul without her by his side. I try to always talk about her with him and we laugh now about what we know she would say in certain situations - but it is still hard.

I am thinking of you all....god bless