Prayers for my girls please

[lynne b]

I know i haven't been active on here for awhile, not even sure if i have a right to ask or not, but would apperciate some prayers for my girls.

Their father killed him self last Thursday, yes he had, had some personal problems for the past couple of years. Both the girls have been beside him through everything trying to help him through it, in fact my youngest had spent the better part of the day with him on Thursday and then had to leave him to go get her girls, she felt something wasn't right and even asked him if he was ok, he told her he was fine and he was going to mow the yard, Amy tried calling him shortly after to check on him and got no answer and just thought he was mowing, his wife got home around 4:00 and found him in the barn, it had only been about 1 1/2 hrs since Amy had left him, needless to say Amy is blaming herself, and no matter what anyone says she can't get past that she left him alone, I know it will take time and counseling for her to realize it was not her fault.

My oldest daughter feels that she let her dad down also, she thinks of herself as the fixer for anything that goes on in the family, lord knows she has been my right arm when it comes to mom and feels offended if i try to take some of the load off of her. Needless to say both girls are devastated, death is hard enough to deal with but i think suicide is the worst leaveing everyone with questions of why and if only we had done this.

We were married for 11yrs and after the girls became adults we put our differences aside and got alone great with him and his wife now. I am trying to deal with the girls and then i come home and deal with my own emotions of the pain that the girls are feeling and the anger that he has left the girls to go through this.
We have had the last 2 days to kind of get the girls calmed down somewhat, today is the viewing and tomorrow is the funeral, i talked with the girls this morning and i can feel the emotions building again so it is going to be another rough couple of days for them. I know it will take a long time for them to come to terms with this, it's hard enough for the girls to deal with but there is also the g-kids to deal with....HOW do you make them understand something that you don't even understand yourself.

So if you could please just say a prayer for my girls and g-kids i would apperciate it so much, they have been through so much in their young adult lives.
Thank you Lynne


wasn't sure where to post this, was kind of venting also.

[Blueyes]

Of course you should come here and ask for anything! I'm so sorry this has happened to your girls and all that are involved. You are so right, death is hard enough to understand, without factoring in suicide. Prayers are all that can help now, and I pray for comfort and peace of mind for you all!

[Janet]

You're welcome here anytime Lynne and can ask for anything. I'm sorry the girls and grandkids are having to deal with this sort of loss.

Dear Jesus, please let Lynne's daughters feel your comforting love. Guide them to know that there was nothing they could have done. Smooth the path for them the next few days and for the many days ahead when they will falter and feel blame again. Touch them in ways that they will know you are with them. Amen

[DianaB]

Oh Lynne......don't be afraid to EVER come and let us know what's going on......We love you and you're a part of our family!!

How awful. I'm sure your girls are dealing with all kinds of emotions. Even if your daughter would have stayed with him he would have just found another time to do it.......if that's what he had determined he wanted to do.

My Dad tried to commit suicide......he took pills and my brother found him the next morning.......he ended up in Wichita and filled him with charcoal then was going to release him!! I had a fit and he ended up in evaluation......which still released him in a couple of days.

Another time my Dad was suicidal he was so depressed and as talking about ending it all......so we called a mental health facility and took him there but by that time he was having breathing problems and had to be admitted to the hospital......again, in a couple of days he was released! I ended up getting a court order to have him picked up and placed in a mental facility which after a couple of days asked us (Glen and I) why we were doing this to this poor man because they couldn't find any problems but they kept him a couple of days longer and finally started seeing something. My Dad also was paranoid schiphrenic as well as being depressed. Every where we turned WE were questioned because my Dad knew how he was suppose to act.

I guess where I'm going with all of this is that it's really hard to get help even when you know that they need it. He probably would have straightened up and acted fine if the girls would have tried to get help and still would have done what he did at a different time.

I'm so sorry about all of this.....it's so hard to deal with........You are all in my prayers!!

[gja1000]

Lynne,
I'm so very very sorry this had to happen. It just isn't fair and it is so hard on everyone left behind. I hope you all can find the strength to heal little by little. It's just so shocking, I wish it didn't have to happen, ever for anyone. Diana, I think you are so right and I think it is great that you shared your story here with Lynne. Sometimes it feels like all the bad things happen only to "me", but it helps to know others have delt with difficult things and were able to get through them. It's a hard lesson to learn, but an important one.

[lynne b]

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, i do believe they helped today, things went better than we expected.

So many memories from when we were married, high school friends and kids that my kids grew up with and lost touch with over the years, people that his current wife had not met. So many emotions!!


I thought my youngest would have the hardest time, but it was my oldest that refused to go near her dad, not ready for tomorrow.

Diana, they had just taken him to the doctor last Monday to get some help, i'm not to sure about what happened but i think he was diagnosed as paranoid schiphrenic as well, he has an older brother who has this also. My oldest daughter is the fixer of all things in our family (as she is with my mom) and she feels that she failed her dad in not getting him the help he needed sooner.

Thank you again everyone for your thoughts and prayers.