His Girlfriend.......

[Janet]

What can I say....she's still in the picture. I'm trying to be tolerant and trying to be nice, but this girl is not the one for my son or my family. I know I really just have to accept whatever happens, but it's not been easy.

She brings so much baggage with her for only being 18 years old. Here is a text Ricky sent me yesterday:

[Janet]

I honestly can't believe he asked me that in a text....what was he thinking?????

When he got home we discussed it. Seems this girl had a previous boyfriend for two years. He supposedly was verbally and emotionally abusive to her. (Where were her parents? since she was only 16 when it all started) Said he raped her a couple of times and now she doesn't trust guys. (Where were her parents?) Said the marks on her arms...I haven't noticed but will look...are from her cutting herself. (Where were her parents?)

I told Ricky this girl needs some help but he can't be the one. She needs more than he can offer. This girl has a mother, a father and step-mother and two sets of grandparents and a number of siblings (whole, step and half). Where were these people for this girl?

I guess the reason she wants to stay the night is because her ex-boyfriend is coming back to town and he knows where her family lives, but not us. I told Ricky that is she going to expect to stay here everytime he comes to town? I then told him no....she can't stay. She needs to speak with her parents to get this young man to leave her alone or go to the police. I don't want her problems bringing my family down anymore than what it is. I just couldn't handle any more at this time.

I keep asking myself what Jesus would want me to do. I don't have the knowledge or experience to help this girl. I think she could be a big problem for Ricky later on and just wish she would move on to someone other than my son.

She sent Ricky a text telling him that if I knew all the things she's been through I'd let her stay, so she proceeded to send all the info in a text to Ricky so I could read it. That's when I told Ricky no, she couldn't stay. She needed more than we had to offer.

I just pray everyday that something permanent doesn't happen, like marriage or a baby that will bind them together. I'm really worried, but have to let him live his life. I was just hoping he'd make better choices.

[JJJ]

Janet, why don't you find a women shelter for this girl. That way your boy knows that your not being cold and want whats best for her. I had to hide from my ex and this wonderful lady help me because I couldn't go to my family since my ex knew there address. So I stayed at a women's shelter for a few weeks. They provide food, shelter and have security and help women go to school and find work. If she doesn't want to go then you guys know she is just bluffing. I was not happy to go there but I would have done everything to get away from my ex.

Your son's support should mean alot to her but like you said, it's not something she should involve him in. Tell him that he needs to give her grown up advise but it is her that needs to pull herself through. They might even have counseling in there that she can go to for her suicidal thoughts.

[JJJ]

Couple of women shelters in Indianapolis. Might be more but I did a quick search.

http://beaconofhopeindy.org/newsite/contact-us/

http://www.coburnplace.org/

Ricky can help by being the driver.

[JJJ]

OOps forgot this one

http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/org174810.jsp

[Janet]

Thank you Jess....that is a really good idea. I will give her the info and see what happens. Only thing is Ricky can't be her driver. Indianapolis is an hour south of us and Ricky works 30 minutes east of us. If her family can't take her then I don't know what she'll do. I really don't want it to be his problem too. She has plenty of family to help her.

[DianaB]

I agree. Her problems are NOT your or your son's problems.......and it sounds like she has a lot! I would firmly stand my ground on this. Obviously the cutting proves that there is some emotional problems as well and this girl needs help. She needs to confide in her Mom or Dad and let them know what's going on with this ex-boyfriend.

I know that Ricky would like to have a girlfriend but this is something that I used to tell Dae Lynn before she married Damon. "There are worse things than being single!" Sadly she found that out the hard way.

Keep praying......and pray that God would remove this girl from Ricky's like and bring a good girl to him. I'll be praying too.