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03-05-2007, 07:42 PM
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Senior Member
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Location: Lone Star State
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What about porn?
Since someone brought up the strip club topic... what about porn? Is it ok to look at it ? Even if they are married...? My co worker told me it is guys being guys.. to me I think it is lack of respect... it makes you feel like less of a woman.. the question is ..are we EVEN capable of controlling them from watching it?
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 Cindy " My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." |
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03-05-2007, 07:57 PM
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#2 |
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I think you're right. It is DEFINITELY a respect issue. As for controlling it, if you know anything about computers, it is really easy to find out if he's been viewing something like that. I wouldn't recommend looking unless you are pretty sure and want to have proof, because doing that would be invading his privacy and could possibly cause serious problems in the relationship (whether you find something or not)...but I guess if there is a reason to not trust him then maybe it would be necessary for your peace of mind... idk
I think the better route would be to talk about it. If he really cares about you, he'd be honest and you could tell him how it makes you feel. Open communication is always best, in my opinion. As a side note, I have a friend who is in the process of getting a divorce because her husband refused to stop looking at porn. My husband and I had to clean off tons of viruses from her computer on several occasions that he had picked up from porn sites. Watching porn can definitely become an addiction and can be detrimental to a marriage so be careful... |
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03-05-2007, 08:27 PM
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#3 |
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Senior Member
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i agree... hubby and I have had our share of arguements over this... I stand by my conviction it is wrong and maybe somepeople are ok with it.. I'm not... and if that means that I will forever be alone so be it.. I have caught him doing it and already told him.. it happens again thats it.. I'm done... it's a hard decision because it is not easy ending your marriage over something like that but I see it as a form of cheating.... am I wrong to think this? This is just one thing I can't live with.... no matter how hard I try...
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Cindy " My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." |
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03-05-2007, 08:50 PM
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#4 | |
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Sometimes men just don't understand how lucky they are. I'm sorry he isn't respecting you like he should. *Hugs* |
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03-06-2007, 03:33 AM
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#5 |
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Maybe I'm 'old school', but I think porn and strip clubs are just plain sick. I just don't understand it, I guess. I'd rather see a nice build man with clothes on than naked as a jaybird. Don't get why men want it the other way around.
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1 |
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03-06-2007, 09:39 AM
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#6 | |
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Cindy " My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." |
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03-07-2007, 03:23 PM
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#7 | |
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Cindy, I have to disagree with you here, Viewing porn is not a form of cheating, no way, no how. Cheating is when your spouse has an emotional or phycial affair with another women. Not viewing on computer or magazines. I have to agree with Sheryl and Rebecca here. I am married a long time and at the begining of our marriage my husband and I did watch some tapes together it is suppose to enhance your own sex life , spice it up. I haven't watched one in years, I have come across websites that my hubby has frequent. I have not confronted him or care to, who cares, I am a very secure woman and am not worried about him running off with another woman, this is fantasy besides. . Cindy don't end your marriage over something like this. When other aspects are good, if it bothers you don't go looking where you dont belong...You need to trust one another. Last edited by Gina; 03-07-2007 at 03:25 PM. |
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03-07-2007, 03:54 PM
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#8 | |
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I have to agree with Gina on this one. I by far am NOT one to ever get into debates or such...But I always feel free to speak my mind, LOL. (My husband never disagree's w/ me on this either. he heeee)  Anyway - Watching porn truly is by no means cheating. And I am NOT in anyway saying that this pertains to you, but I wonder at times that woman who are totally against their hubbies or bf's watching/reading porn maybe very insecure with their ownselves sexually??? I dunno, again this is just a thought and wonder. I think that many girls are brought up to feel ashamed or embarrassed to feel "sexual". Yet, males are brought up to be strong and accepted to speak open about sex, masturbation, and porn, etc.... Then as the shy girls grow and find themselves facing "sexual situations" in a relationship they throw out the "oh it's wrong and you shouldn't do that card". Again, I am not saying this directed towards anybody who posted about this...But I feel that it's perfectly ok for a women to feel sexual, to masturbate, to watch porn, read magazines, whatever. Just as I do for men. And, I feel a women grows to a maturity finally accepting herself as a sexual being. The woman who don't I almost feel sorry for because I think there are constant issues in the bedroom sorta say... I'm no therapist by any means but these are just some of my thoughts on this subject. I would truly HATE and be SADDENED to see a lovely marriage end just because a husband watched a porn for fantasy reasons or reads a Playboy magazine. And honestly, I really don't feel that a man will change to NOT do this if he already is just because he is asked by his gf or wife. Nor do I think it's really fair. Now...if that hubby or bf is involved with child porn or such things that are waaaayyyy out there and it becomes totally disfunctional to himself, his marriage, or life, etc...Then yes, I think counceling might be the answer for such. But for normal stuff - Don't sweat it. There are much worse things to deal with in this lifetime.
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~_/> , /\/\ ,,, Sheryl When I grow up I want to be a horse whisperer! |
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03-07-2007, 06:49 PM
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#9 |
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Senior Member
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I thank you all for your opinions... but it's the way I feel about all of it.... It botheres me more so because when the topic is brought up he gets extremly defensive.... I have to ask myself why.... if he has nothing to hide, then why get defensive...?
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Cindy " My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." |
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03-08-2007, 08:45 AM
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#10 | |
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