I'm Ticked

[Ponyup]

I'm so pissed off right now, & I'm even more mad because I don't want to be pissed.

Here's the story, My husband & I hang out with a friend of mine for high school & his wife. His wife is a very attractive girl. My husband is very shy, but as he gets to know people he becomes more friendly; however, I think he's becoming too friendly with her. My husband is not a jealous person at all, but I am very jealous. Sat. night we were hanging out getting drunk for St. Patrick's day & I thought he was being overly friendly with her. I was also pissed because he told her we were using our bonuses to get a hot tub which hadn't been decided yet. I was pissed at him most of sunday, but we ended up hashing it out & I thought we were cool. Well come to find out he texted her last night after we got back from hot tub shopping telling her we were getting one that would be delivered in a few weeks (again this has not been decided yet). He did not tell me he was texting her, I found out from her husband who IM'ed me & told me that she got a text saying we were getting a hot tub. A text I had no knowledge of. I just called him pissed & he claimed it was an experiment to see if she'd tell mark (there tends to be a communication disconnect between the two). I wanna believe him, but I don't. I told him I don't want him having contact with her that I don't know about. Am I being to harsh? I don't wanna be jealous, but this is so unlike him.

[Gina]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I'm so pissed off right now, & I'm even more mad because I don't want to be pissed.

Here's the story, My husband & I hang out with a friend of mine for high school & his wife. His wife is a very attractive girl. My husband is very shy, but as he gets to know people he becomes more friendly; however, I think he's becoming too friendly with her. My husband is not a jealous person at all, but I am very jealous. Sat. night we were hanging out getting drunk for St. Patrick's day & I thought he was being overly friendly with her. I was also pissed because he told her we were using our bonuses to get a hot tub which hadn't been decided yet. I was pissed at him most of sunday, but we ended up hashing it out & I thought we were cool. Well come to find out he texted her last night after we got back from hot tub shopping telling her we were getting one that would be delivered in a few weeks (again this has not been decided yet). He did not tell me he was texting her, I found out from her husband who IM'ed me & told me that she got a text saying we were getting a hot tub. A text I had no knowledge of. I just called him pissed & he claimed it was an experiment to see if she'd tell mark (there tends to be a communication disconnect between the two). I wanna believe him, but I don't. I told him I don't want him having contact with her that I don't know about. Am I being to harsh? I don't wanna be jealous, but this is so unlike him.

I am trying to be objective here, for starters your husband telling your friends wife about purchasing a hot tub whether it was decided or not should not merit you to get pissed over that. He was just probably making conversation. Now for him text messaging her that was wrong, I do think he did it innocently and by all means your friends wife didnt hide it from her husband. Why would it be important to him? , too experiement whether your friend's wife communicates with her husband. I don't feel that is his place to do that. I am trying to put myself in your situation and if my husband was texting a friend's wife, I wouldn't like it , unless he was doing it for a reason, if she asked for a favor etc. I am not his keeper, but to text a woman to say that he was purchasing something is not a valid reason. Unless they are good friends.This is just my opionion , I am sure the others will chime in.

[RLC12345678]

I dunno. My hubby has friends that are girls that he talks to on a regular basis in person, on the phone, and via text messages. And I also have guy friends that I do the same thing with. Unless you suspect your hubby is doing something inapprorpiate with her, then I wouldn't worry.

[Ponyup]

I think that's what bothers me, she's not his friend, she the wife of my friend. If they were friends before I might not care. I guess I'm really upset he's having contact with her that I don't know about. I found out about this, but is there other contact I don't know about. & yes I am very jealous & very paranoid. I do have guy friends, but I was friends with them before I was married. And she is a very attractive girl. A guess a little back ground; my husband is not chatty, flirty, or touchy feelie. He never was one to put his arm around me or hold my hand, even when we were dating, but sat. night he put his arm around her. I don't think i'm jealous that he'll cheat on me with her, I think I'm envious of the attention he gives her that he never gave me.

[Gina]

Then you should tell him exactly how you feel, it doesn't matter if she is attractive, looks have nothing to do with anything. The issue here is that you are not comfortable with him doing something that is out of characater for him, <putting his arm around her> when he never did or does it to you. Don't beat around the bush, tell him that you don't like it...He may not even realize that he did it , or that it bothers you. As far as being jealous and parnoid, thats another issue. I have never been the jealous type .but if I was given a reason to be I don't think I would last with that person.

[Janet]

Communicate....Communicate.....Communicate!!!

You have got to keep the lines of communication open. Discuss this with him, tell him how you feel. But don't do it in an accusing way...there is no proof that anything is wrong. Just talk it out.

[Tink]

I'm sorry you're unhappy about this. I think the only way to deal with it is to be honest and open about how you're feeling, which it does sound like you're doing.

My hubby adores my best friend. They hug and joke around like old pals, and I'm just glad they sincerely like each other! She is much prettier than I am, is very outgoing and fun... but I'm not jealous because I know neither of them are the type of person who would have any respect for themselves if they cheated.

Hubby is an over the road semi driver, so is gone most of the time. He is friends with female drivers who he has called and have called him on the rare time that he's home. Only once did it bother me, and that time it turned out I was right... Greg didn't have shady motives. but the woman did! Once he figured out what she was interested in with him, he told me and cut off ties with her right away. She used to do some modeling, was a college professor, and just seemed to have it ALL going on. Yet she wasn't able to lure Greg into something he didn't feel right about.

I really think either someone is trustworthy or they aren't... if they are, you really have little to worry about. If they aren't, being jealous isn't going to change them one iota.

HUGS
I hope this turns out well for you.

[Mandy]

I think, since he is shy, and the quiet withdrawn type of guy, that he feels comfortable with her, i honestly dont think he would put hes arm around her while you are there if he has "more" in mind.
I understand your "jealousy" about this, i wouldnt like it either. Even though im not a jealous type at all, it would bother me.
Talk to him, and tell him straigh out, you dont like what hes doing.