Not Good News -- Surgery

[Janet]

I just talked with my husband. I could tell something was wrong as soon as I heard his voice. He has to have surgery! and he is scared to death! I tried to tell him that if it was life threatening, then yes, but it's not and to think how much better he is going to feel. He also has arthritis so that is a concern.

He asked if he could wait 3 months, to get things taken care of before the surgery. My suggestion was to not wait any longer than a month. We have always gotten through tough times and will again.

One of the things he wants to get done is getting a will made. We should have done this a long time ago I know, but now he wants it done before surgery. So, it will be done.

He already knows from talking with the Dr. that he most likely will not be able to go back to work doing the same thing he is now (auto body repair). I told him not to worry about it...that we've managed in tight times before, we will again.

Even though I KNEW it would have to be surgery, I am kind of shaking here myself. Mostly because I'm not in control and can't do anything.

[DianaB]

I'm sorry that your family is going through this right now. It's so hard to make the decision to have surgery done even if you know that it's the right thing to do because we know that there's going to be pain and we want to know for sure that we're going to be better than we were.

My husband just had surgery on his wrist and I didn't know until right up to when they took him back for surgery that he was actually going to do it. He just about drove me crazy looking at everything on his condition on the Internet and asking EVERYONE what he should do.

I'll be praying for your husband and your family. God will make a way for everything to work out. Just keep believing.

[Tink]

{{{Janet}}}
I'm going to keep your family in my prayers. I know a few people who have had very good success with back surgeries, so pray your hubby does too.

If he doesn't have surgery, the problem will most likely keep getting worse. After the surgery, hopefully things will get better so he can do more of what he wants and needs to. If nothing else, it's a chance... where without it, there is none.

HUGS

[Janet]

Thanks Tink, that's exactly what I have been trying to tell him. That he needs to think positive and about how much better he is going to feel when it's all over and he's had time to heal.

He's heard both sides. Some who have done really well and others who have 'warned' him against having it done. What is wrong with those type of people? It reminds of of how women can be so cruel to pregnant women..ya know? They tell them about all the pain of child birth, squeezing that baby out between their legs and scaring them half to death. Why is that? What is with a simple 'I'll keep you in my prayers and hope you have a quick recovery?'

My son and I felt bad for him, so we went and visited him for a few minutes at work. He seemed a little better, but he's been busy working..so we'll see how he is when he gets home. His feelings are hurt too, because no one from work, not even his boss (who Rick taught how to do body work) has asked him what he found out. I could tell he was ready to cry.

I wish he could find a forum like what we have here (BUT NOT THIS ONE...LOL) so he could vent and get some support. Don't know if he would use it, but you all are a tremendous support to me, no matter what the topic.

I'll know more this evening after talking with him to find out just exactly what he is wanting done before he has surgery. Hopefully my son and I can't help get it done (whatever it is) fast so he can get the surgery done soon. I don't want him to wait.

[rivermom]

Janet - I am very impressed by how you are handeling this. You being positive in your thinking and actions clearly shows!!! Your husband will see this and your positive energy will flow right through him to comfort him.

Your a good wife by being by his side and easing his worries by how you've talked to him. I am sure he appreciates so much you telling him that your family will see through this and it will all work out.

Thanks for letting us know what you found out today.

[Chandra Amaya]

I agree with Sheryl I'm very impressed with how you have all your thoughts together. I'd be a mess. Maybe the people at work haven't asked because they thought when he is ready he would tell them?
You & your family continue to stay in my thoughts

[Janet]

Originally Posted by rivermom

Janet - I am very impressed by how you are handeling this. You being positive in your thinking and actions clearly shows!!! Your husband will see this and your positive energy will flow right through him to comfort him.

Your a good wife by being by his side and easing his worries by how you've talked to him. I am sure he appreciates so much you telling him that your family will see through this and it will all work out.

Thanks for letting us know what you found out today.

Thanks Sheryl...I sure hope he gets a better attitude about it all and think of how great he'll feel when it's all over. He's 54 and has never had to be in the hospital for anything, so I know the fear of the unknown can be overbearing.

We'll get through all this I'm sure. The only thing that really scares me is...he want to get his will done...I just hope it's a good thing and not an a premonition.

He knows he hasn't taken the best care of himself...drinks often, pretty much chain smokes, has rhuematoid arthritis, and then the bone on bone in his back. He is already thinking things are stacked against him. I'm sure he'll do fine and then he'll see that he's been given a second chance to clean up his lifestyle and I truly believe he will.