Feeling sad

[judy]

I think I've posted that my daughter has MS and that we aren't in contact. I don't see my 3 precious grandchildren either. She's in a marriage with a terrible, controlling person and the long and the short of it are that she chose the marriage over her relationship with me. I think she had no choice - he really, really doesn't want me around. He knows I see right through him. It's been on again, off again for several years between them and me, but finally reached the breaking point in January 2006.

I, actually, found out some very good news about her a few days ago. We use the same hairdresser who told me that Jessie looks great and has been feeling really good for about 9 months now. She's taking care of the kids, driving, etc. In fact, she has put on some weight and is going to Weight Watchers. She had been too sick, in and out of hopitals, etc. to even think about getting her hair done before. I am so grateful!!!

The odd thing is that I've been feeling sad since. I usually keep my feelings about the whole situation on the back burner. I don't suppress my feelings 100%, but I don't dwell on them either. I think hearing this wonderful news just brought out the sorrow I feel about not having her and my babies in my life. I think part of the sadness also is knowing that she doesn't need me at all. She can do what she's got to do on her own. I know that's a good thing, especially when she has so much to deal with, but I'm a mother and it's always hard when they really don't need you anymore.


There's nothing I can do about our being apart. I've tried everything, including going to Alanon for two years (SIL drinks), so I'll have to just feel sad until I don't feel that sorrow so strongly anymore, and then just get on with my life. I know that will happen. I've done it before.

Thanks for letting me get that all out there,

Judy

[Mandy]

Judy, im so sorry you dont have contact with you daughter, and grandbabies. Its a tough call! Just remember we are here for you, anytime you need to vent/talk about it, you have us here to support you!

[Tink]

Judy, I'm so sorry for your situation. Somtimes we just can't control the way life goes and it IS sad.

I hope things improve for you. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Janet]

Oh Judy, I am so saddened by your post. Please don't give up completely. Every now and then, send her a sweet card just to let her know you are thinking of her. No other comments unless it's just to say you hope she is doing well. Maybe once in a while, send a small bouquet of flowers just to her. You may not get anything in return except the knowledge that you tried. Sometimes we have to do things for those we love and not expect anything in return.

[Marilyn]

Judy, I can't imagine what you have gone through and what you are going through. Being estranged from a child and grandchildren must be so very hard. You and your situation will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[judy]

Thanks so much for your support. It always helps.

Janet - I do send her flowers from time to time. She knows they're from me because I always get her gladiolas, her favorite. I go by my instincts as to when to send and I'm not sure if right now is a good time. I can't send mail - SIL intercepts it.

Judy

Originally Posted by judy

I think I've posted that my daughter has MS and that we aren't in contact. I don't see my 3 precious grandchildren either. She's in a marriage with a terrible, controlling person and the long and the short of it are that she chose the marriage over her relationship with me. I think she had no choice - he really, really doesn't want me around. He knows I see right through him. It's been on again, off again for several years between them and me, but finally reached the breaking point in January 2006.

I, actually, found out some very good news about her a few days ago. We use the same hairdresser who told me that Jessie looks great and has been feeling really good for about 9 months now. She's taking care of the kids, driving, etc. In fact, she has put on some weight and is going to Weight Watchers. She had been too sick, in and out of hopitals, etc. to even think about getting her hair done before. I am so grateful!!!

The odd thing is that I've been feeling sad since. I usually keep my feelings about the whole situation on the back burner. I don't suppress my feelings 100%, but I don't dwell on them either. I think hearing this wonderful news just brought out the sorrow I feel about not having her and my babies in my life. I think part of the sadness also is knowing that she doesn't need me at all. She can do what she's got to do on her own. I know that's a good thing, especially when she has so much to deal with, but I'm a mother and it's always hard when they really don't need you anymore.


There's nothing I can do about our being apart. I've tried everything, including going to Alanon for two years (SIL drinks), so I'll have to just feel sad until I don't feel that sorrow so strongly anymore, and then just get on with my life. I know that will happen. I've done it before.

Thanks for letting me get that all out there,

Judy

Hi Judy,

I just want to say I sympathize with you. My mother has MS.. she's had it since she was 36.. and she's 43 now. My mom and my grandmother are close, but they are still times when my mom will shut my grandmother out. Don't worry, when times get tough I'm sure she will be there. Keep trying, I know when my mom first got diagnosed what she needed was her family. Do you know what type of MS she has?
Ashley