My husband's blog...

[AngieDoogles]

My husband wrote a blog for me a few days ago and has been begging me to post it for you ladies to read ever since. He's curious what your responses would be, lol. Anyway, I decided to concede and let you read my "on drugs" story...

My_wife+drugs=unending_hilarity

The title of this post is actually Saturday night summed up in a mathematical equation. As a little bit of back story before I begin, my wife has been having very strange pain for several months now, but has not wanted to go to the doctor because of money. Last week we had a tragic loss in our family, and Angela was put under a great deal of stress because of it. On Saturday, the pain was so bad that Angela's family and I decided to take her to the emergency room. Now I have described some stressful and tragic events up to this point, but this post is not about that, but in fact about the silver lining to every cloud shall we say.... or more directly, my wife on drugs. You see, they didn't really know what was wrong with her, other than the fact that she was hurting. So the first thing they did was try to take blood. Several times in fact before they succeeded. The nurse who came in first decided that the best way to give Angela an IV was to jab her as many times as he could until he found a good vein. After about 15 unsuccessful attempts (leaving a bruise the size of Texas on my wife, and me in the corner shaking like a little baby because of my fear of needles), he decided to get another nurse to try her own. She had the IV in and the blood drawn in less than 10 seconds, and decided to give Angela some medicine for the pain. [I feel compelled to add that even though she was "successful", my blood was bad and she had to try again an hour later...] Now any of you who have met my wife know that she is not a big lady... at all. In fact, my wife weighs less than 100 lbs. So when the nurse brought out the one-gallon syringe full of pain medicine, I knew we were in trouble. So after almost everything was said and done, we were told that Angela was finally allowed to have food (she had been in the emergency room for almost 8 hours at this point, and hadn't eaten in at least 12 hours), so I went to the nearest restaurant (Taco Bell) and bought food. I would have to say that one of the most pathetic things I have ever seen in my whole life is my wonderful wife, exhausted after a long time in the ER and starving after not eating all day, trying her hardest to eat a Taco, but being unable to bend her arms due to the intense bruising caused by the male nurse from hades. So, being the wonderful loving family members that we are, her mother and I held her Tacos for her so she could eat them. A few minutes later, the pain started coming back, so we called the nurse to have her give Angela some more medicine. Out came the one-gallon syringe again, and the nurse preceded to fill it three times with different pain medications, and pump it into my dear sweet wifey. They filled her with so many drugs that she nearly tripled in weight from all of the liquid. After the nurse gave her the last shot, we were left alone for nearly 20 minutes. Angela, her mom and I had a great conversation for about the first minute and 45 seconds of this time, after which Angela began to giggle, and then promptly passed out. Angela's mom and I just cracked up at how quickly she went down, and were still laughing 10 minutes later when Angela sat bolt upright in the bed, and promptly stated that she was ready to leave. Now at this point, Angela still had an IV in her arm, and we were awaiting the ok to leave, as well as the prescriptions that Angela would need to get better. So we told her "Angela sweety, we can't leave while you have that IV in your arm", thinking that this would be enough to get her to lay back down. We were wrong. Instead of laying back down and waiting patiently for the doctor, Angela decided that she could easily remove the IV on her own... after all, she couldn't feel a thing in her whole body. Luckily for us, we only had to attempt to restrain her for about 15 seconds before she passed back out, but unfortunately we repeated the cycle a further 38 times before the doctor came back. When it was finally time to go home, the doctor brought in a wheelchair for Angela (because she was on enough drugs to kill a small horse twice), and we wheeled her to the entrance of the hospital, where I was going to go get the car. Because I love my wife, and felt bad for the ordeal she had been through that day, I leaned in to give her a kiss before I left to get the car. Instead of getting a kiss like I expected, however, I ended up with a swift punch in the stomach and the orders "GO GET THE CAR!!!!!". I ran away to go get the car, and as I looked back I saw an expression on my Mother in Law's face that could only mean one thing..... "Angela-1, Brendon-0". We got Angela home, and she wasn't feeling good, so we went to bed and have been doing our best to pamper her since.


**p.s.-- The contents of this story have been exaggerated greatly for humor value, but everything stated happened to some degree or another. Angela is doing alot better now, but her medicine still makes her feel awful. We are both looking forward to when she can feel better without medicine.

I am horrified that I punched Brendon...but it makes him laugh and the fact that it embarrasses me makes it even funnier to him. So now you know my "dirty little secret." lol

[Janet]

I must say, that was fun reading!!!....LOL Brendon should be a writer for sure.

I hope you're back to 'normal' Angie and poor Brendon, did he need some of your pain medicine?

[Forgivenmom5]

Originally Posted by Janet

I must say, that was fun reading!!!....LOL Brendon should be a writer for sure.

I hope you're back to 'normal' Angie and poor Brendon, did he need some of your pain medicine?

Before the night was over I think he might have Janet--It was just so different from normal for her.--guess drugs will do that

[Taurus Babe]

Oh man that was hilarious!!!! How are you feeling now? Poor you, what an ordeal you had to endure!

[AngieDoogles]

Hannah, thank you for your concern. I am feeling much better now. The pain is a lot less frequent than before and I have a follow-up appointment on Thursday.

Janet, I'll tell him you said that he should be a writer. Poor Brendon is right. I felt so awful when I found out that I hit him. He just laughs about it, but still...

[Tink]

Angie, what stood out most in that story for me is how much he loves you. Even if you did sucker punch him! LOL

I hope your recheck goes well and that this is all behind you soon.