Update on my mother

[Janet]

It's has been quite some time since I've given you all an update on my 84 year old mother. Recently she had her eyes checked. A few years ago, she had an aneurysm in her right eye. The eye Dr. suggested she have an ultra sound done on the arteries in her neck to make sure all was clear and that she wouldn't have the same thing happen to the other eye.

The ultrasound showed a 50-70% blockage in the right side and 50% on the left. They want her to have a CT A scan done where they insert the dye. That's all well and good, except for her kidneys. The dye can do damage.

If you remember her kidneys are functioning at 20% right now. The Drs. have told her that within a year to two years, she will most likely be on dialysis.

If she does not have the surgery to clear these arteries in her neck, she risks having a stroke that could possibly render her in bad shape of course or just affect her eyes. OR nothing may happen and she can just let nature take it's course in her aging.

If she does have the surgery to clear the arteries in her neck, she risks a stroke if some of the 'whatever it is that is clogging the artery, (I forget what he called it) breaks off while they are cleaning it out. PLUS the dye can cause severe damage to her already compromised kidneys and she could end up on dialysis right after the surgery instead of a couple years down the road.

She is very scared...I think more scared of this stuff she has to drink before the surgery to help save her kidneys. They told her it smells and tastes like rotten eggs, but it will help her kidneys. She doesn't know what to do and I have no suggestion for her. I help her go over the options, but it is ultimately up to her.

She asked what I would do and I told her at my age...52, I would probably have the surgery done, but I really didn't know if I was in the same health arena with bad kidneys if I would have it done at her age. I told her I would support whatever decision she makes.

She is thinking of going ahead with the surgery and get it over with so she can still go to Florida in January. I know this is pretty selfiish, but I almost wish if she's going to have it done she wait till she comes back in April. I know that is a long time, but if something were to happen to her over the holidays, heaven forbid, it would make the light of the holidays a little dimmer every year from now on.

Still....I will support whatever decision she makes.

[rivermom]

You are such a good daughter supporting your Mom like you do. And in no means should you be feeling selfish by wanting your Mom to wait till April for the surgery.

I wish her well and thanks for giving us an update.

[AngieDoogles]

Janet, you really are a great daughter! Your mom is lucky to have you in her life. I'm sorry that there are so many health problems that your mom is dealing with. It must be so tough for you to watch. As for being selfish, you are FAR from it! It makes perfect sense to want to wait until after the holidays. You don't want things to be more stressful than they already are. Completely understandable!

Good luck to you and your mom. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*

[Mandy]

Your mom is very lucky to have you in her life! You are a wonderful daughter to take care of her the way you do, and no ways are you selfish, i completly understand your reasoning!

Keeping your mom in my thoughts.

[katepoet]

The most I can offer is an idea about the rotten egg smell and taste. First we tend to taste less of something if we drink it through a straw. You can put the straw a little further back in your mouth and avoid some of the taste buds. Second, why not try to overwhelm the taste buds before drinking it? Get some altoids of whatever flavor she likes best and have her suck or crunch one up right before taking it. If she can't eat before the test, check with the doctor but she should be able to suck on it for a minute, then drink, then suck, then drink - might make it a lot easier. Also be prepared with a swimmer's nose clip or a cotton ball. Blocking off the nose minimizes taste. Or try the scent of an orange or vanilla on a hankie for her to hold in front of her nose between sips. Orange wakes up the brain, vanilla is calming - both are strong scents that can help and both give a sense of well-being.

[DianaB]

My MIL recently went through something similar. She needed a hernia surgery (it was the size of a basketball!) but had put it off because her heart was too weak to have it done. She'd been having severe pains when something got twisted inside and eventually she'd have had to have the surgery but it would have been in an emergency setting. Her daughter finally found a doctor that said he could do it when all the other doctors said that she wouldn't survive the surgery. Anyway, she was talked into having it done and everything has gone well. I was totally surprised because I didn't think that it would improve her quality of life but I've been proven wrong, it's very minimal but she IS better.

Your Mom has a big decision ahead. Maybe a second opinion might help with her decision. I'll be praying that she makes the right decision.