So Mad!

[Gina]

likeI have a little dilemma . This Sunday we celebrate Palm Sunday. My hubby wants to invite his family, dad, SIL and family and BIL and his family over for dinner..
I will try to give you a quick synopsis of my BIL and his wife. They are married over 20 years btw I introduced my BIL to her. BIG MISTAKE! She is a weirdo from day one, very one sided all for her family. Never invites anyone to her house for daughters birthdays or holidays. Period I have been there maybe two times.

Now I host holidays and always have parties celebrating my children's birthdays, graduations etc. She comes to all my parties but always ignores my family , brothers, their wifes etc. She is rude she will go downstairs and sit with her kids by my computer. She does not allow her kids to play with the other kids and they listen. To boot on my 50th surprise birthday party she wasn't coming at first due to her mother being in hospital and she was not allowing BIL and kids to come either. They all ended up coming and do you believe the audacity she didn't even approach me to wish me a Happy Birthday and left without saying goodnight.

Another incident during the summer her kids were running in and out bringing dirt into my house it was a bbq. and I chased them outside along with my own nieces and nephews. I was told by my SIL my side that she told her kids to come inside and tell me off. THE NERVE! When I did go to her house she tells us to remove our shoes, what is my house s***t.

These are just examples and she does not talk to her own brothers and their wives. So now I am fighting with hubby and I refuse to cook for her. She is coming and planting her fat a** by the table . I had dental surgery and I told my husband he will be doing the cooking am I wrong to feel this way? How would you feel if you were in my shoes. My hubby keeps telling me I shouldn't see my brother because she is weird. I said noooooooo go visit him.... I am sorry this is long just need to vent!!!

[Janet]

Sounds like a little more than a dliemma Gina. You poor girl. Are you feeling well enough to host a dinner? If not, then tell him to forget it. Or tell them they can come, but you won't be cooking and will be resting some more in your room.

You could look at it that she is just jealous because you can have fantastic family functions and she obviously doesn't know what to do.

I'm not by any means advocating you do what I do, but I don't need drama or toxic people around so I just wouldn't invite her anymore. If she gets you this worked up and it's not even Palm Sunday yet...is it worth it?

I hope you can figure out something for your benefit and I also hope someone else hear can give you some better ideas. For me...I just figure life is way too short to let someone ruin things for me, so I just stay away from them.

[Marilyn]

Gina, so sorry you are having to deal with this!!! Our solution to family problems is the same as Janet's. For us it was the best solution. We just don't associate with them any more. We have friends instead. It made life much simpler, and you can include whomever you want. Our friends are all Christians who understand you can't invite everyone at once, so no hurt feelings. It's been so liberating.

Hope you find a solution that works for you!!!

[Tink]

I very much agree with Janet and Marilyn. You have every right to say no.
Life is WAY to short to spend your time doing things that go against your grain. Since she's not the type to appreciate it, why bother? If you can make yourself and your own family happy you've succeeded... don't feel you have to tend to the whole world.

If they don't like it, tell them Janet, Marilyn and Tink made you do it! lol They can tak it up with us.

[Gina]

Tink ! lol I will...

Seriously I would stay away from them no sweat, but its my dam husband. He fights with me and tries to give me the guilt trip . I only have one brother.. lalalala yeah but this brother don't respect YOU or YOUR family. I am tired of fighting with him, I told him they can come but he is cooking and I am NOT! I will stick to my guns.....


Ladies hugs!

[judy]

Originally Posted by Tink

I very much agree with Janet and Marilyn. You have every right to say no.
Life is WAY to short to spend your time doing things that go against your grain. Since she's not the type to appreciate it, why bother? If you can make yourself and your own family happy you've succeeded... don't feel you have to tend to the whole world.

If they don't like it, tell them Janet, Marilyn and Tink made you do it! lol They can tak it up with us.

Gina, you can add my name to the "blame us' group. Honestly, if it were me, I would nicely tell my brother the truth and never allow her in my house. I also agree that toxic people are not allowed in my environment.
Actually, I would write a letter to my brother and mail it to him at work or somewhere where she can't see it. I find that when people have time to digest things alone, like when reading a letter, it usually makes for a calmer response.

[Janet]

I like your letter idea too Judy.

Or we can all meet her husband in an alley and make him quit trying to make Gina feel guilty......come here little boy....want some candy??? SMACK!

[Gina]

Originally Posted by judy

Gina, you can add my name to the "blame us' group. Honestly, if it were me, I would nicely tell my brother the truth and never allow her in my house. I also agree that toxic people are not allowed in my environment.
Actually, I would write a letter to my brother and mail it to him at work or somewhere where she can't see it. I find that when people have time to digest things alone, like when reading a letter, it usually makes for a calmer response.

Judy it's his brother not mine, and he knows his wife I think he hates her too.. But he stays because of his kids...Then I have the FIL who defends his other son, like my poor son he has to put up with that.. BULL CRAP! he may have to put up with that, BUT I DON'T

Janet yeahhhhhhhhhh sounds good to me... I'm peeing my pants here!! lol

At least I got a few laughs thanks ladies!