Don't know what to do!

[HALEY]

Many of you know all the problems i have with my in-laws, them boycoting my childs first Birthday party etc., well it's really starting to affect my marriage now, and i am ready for a separtation, i don't like fighting in front of my child and my husband always, always takes his mother's side, he's married to me! not his mother! I told him to go live with her yesterday. and we also talked about him moving out in June when our joint bills will be paid off and he will have his own company truck and i can sell my car.
we'll yesterday when i came home there was a dozen of roses on the table?
i asked what they were for? He said just because. Don't men every listen to you when you talk to them, Now is he moving out in June or does he want to work on our marriage? I am just so tired of the drama in my house, between work, my one year old, i really don't have time for these games... I don't even know if i want to work on our marriage, i really think we need a separtation right now.
i am just so stressed, depressed, confused, and tired!!!

[katcarasella]

Haley, here's a for you. I'll say a prayer for you! My husband and I almost split up when our daughter was one. I know it was because I was under so much stress and too tired all the time to sit down and talk to him the way I did before we had a child. What's the first thing you do when he comes home?
Try giving him a big hug and a kiss. Don't even bring the MIL into your conversations with him. You be the positive one in his life, let her be the negative one, and she'll hang herself. Does that make sense??
Go to the Positive thread and look at the song for the day. That's us girlfriend.

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by katcarasella

Haley, here's a for you. I'll say a prayer for you! My husband and I almost split up when our daughter was one. I know it was because I was under so much stress and too tired all the time to sit down and talk to him the way I did before we had a child. What's the first thing you do when he comes home?
Try giving him a big hug and a kiss. Don't even bring the MIL into your conversations with him. You be the positive one in his life, let her be the negative one, and she'll hang herself. Does that make sense??
Go to the Positive thread and look at the song for the day. That's us girlfriend.

Yes that does make sense! I need to get the negative people out of my life!
It is very hard especially with a child added to our life. I'm going to take you advice and see what happens. thanks Hun !!

[NicoleMarcelle]

Haley i hope everything works out for you!!! that was a sweet gesture of him though... hugs to you

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by NicoleMarcelle

Haley i hope everything works out for you!!! that was a sweet gesture of him though... hugs to you

I know it was very nice of him, i should have thank him for the flowers, instead i asked what they were for? Just tired girl ! I have so much on my plate right now, and he's been working 7 days a week. i just need a break.

[NicoleMarcelle]

Originally Posted by HALEY

I know it was very nice of him, i should have thank him for the flowers, instead i asked what they were for? Just tired girl ! I have so much on my plate right now, and he's been working 7 days a week. i just need a break.

i understand... big hugs to you!!! and i hope you get your break soon... if i was closer i'd baby sit for you so you could go pamper yourself ... i love kids

[Tink]

Haley, most separations end up in divorce. I hope you don't end up there. The other ladies have given wonderful advice as usual. I hope it works out for you!

This is my second marriage. My first one lasted 7 yrs and I divorced him. Even though it was me who wanted out, it was darn hard to start over and to raise a child between two separate households. If you think it's hard to deal with your MIL now... imagine what it's like to deal with your ex's new wife helping to raise your child!

You're under an incredible amount of stress, but that means it's time to start pulling together instead of apart. I've been married 22 yrs this time and it's not always perfect, but like anything worht having, it's worth putting some effort into and pays you back accordingly.

**fingers crossed for you!**

[Forgivenmom5]

Good luck Haley. Take some time and decide what is right for you and your child.

[HALEY]

I wanted to thank all of you for your wonderful advice!
We have been talking the last couple of days, and he has been helping me more around the house too which is a big shocker! I can't believe he went grocery shopping with me yesterday, we even took the baby! It was nice not to carry all those grocery by myself. Then we did talk alittle bit last night about his mother and him working all these hours, it's hard having the baby everynight by myself, i have to cook, clean, laundry, feed the baby, wash the clothes, you ladies know the list is never ending, then i don't get to bed until 10:00 pm and im up at 4 am..
it's just not fair and he agreed with me.
She did show him the letter that i wrote to her, he didn't have a comment on it so i let it go, all i said is his family is welcome over here anytime they wanted to come over, just call ahead in case the baby is sleeping, or i have plans to go out with Micah, and i dropped it!!! i will let it go at that, that is all i'm saying about his family, i put the ball in there corner.. Now it's up to them.. This fighting about them is going to stop before i have a breakdown here....
I did feel alittle less stressed last night, i was glad we had that talk and we'll see how it goes , im just taking it one day at a time, and praying everynight on it.

[Gina]

I am glad to read your post this morning Communication is the key and its making him see. Just keep expressing your feelings. Trust me there is nothing out there. I have girlfriends my age 50's who are on third divorces and are bitter women. Some have regrets of leaving their first marriages years ago. Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. You find it hard now with a husband, forget it when he is not there you will be on call 24/7 working , paying bills taking care of your son.

Just think it through and give him a chance see what happens.. Good luck!

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by Gina

I am glad to read your post this morning Communication is the key and its making him see. Just keep expressing your feelings. Trust me there is nothing out there. I have girlfriends my age 50's who are on third divorces and are bitter women. Some have regrets of leaving their first marriages years ago. Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. You find it hard now with a husband, forget it when he is not there you will be on call 24/7 working , paying bills taking care of your son.

Just think it through and give him a chance see what happens.. Good luck!

im trying Gina, but it's a shame it takes almost separting for men to wake up!!
He should be helping me around the house, with our son, etc. and with his mother he knows i was right, he should have been on my side on that one!!
it just gets to me! I don't want to yell or scream at him for him to listen to me, he married me.. he should be my other half that makes me whole... It just makes me look like the bad person all the time. He needs to stand up to his mother once in a while.. But i refuse to fight about her anymore. she is not babysitting for me no more, and she will always be welcome in my house if she wants to come over and see her grandson..