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04-22-2008, 07:11 AM
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#1 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 1,075
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Pet Diaries
A DOG’s DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! Ate some poop. My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! Ate some poop. My favorite thing! 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! Ate some poop. My favorite thing! 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! A CAT’s DIARY Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. |
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04-22-2008, 02:49 PM
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#2 |
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Donating 4WT Yakker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Denver, NY
Posts: 8,097
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 That is one of the funniest pet things I've seen!
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Judy     |
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04-22-2008, 02:53 PM
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#3 |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,624
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This was a good one Dobie!!
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1 |
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05-01-2008, 07:58 PM
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#4 |
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4WT 500 Club Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tn
Posts: 1,646
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That is great! I miss my cats
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 Traci
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05-02-2008, 10:59 AM
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#5 |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 13K Club Member 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kansas
Posts: 16,069
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Cute!! Cute!!!
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*´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends.......
Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!! |
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