OMG ! Stealing!

[Emmsmom]

OK, I need some honest opinions here. My daughter had a friend spend the night over the weekend. Everything went fine and they got along great. Well the night she went home she called and said that her mom went and bought her a sweatshirt from a popular store here. My daughter says oh cool. She goes to school yesterday and says oh I have the same sweatshirt at home. She honestly thought NOTHING of it. Then later she said that she also had a shirt on the same day that looked likes hers as well. So she gets home and we go through her closet and guess what. Yep.. The sweatshirt and shirt she had on were my daughter's. I was so mad that I could feel my bloodpressure rising. For one I am NOT loaded but that sweatshirt was a treat for Emmie and it was on sale. The usually sale for 60 bucks. I called the her house this morning and left a message to tell her to bring them to school so my daughter can bring them home. Now I am thinking it would be better for me to go over to the house this afternoon before they get home and get her mother to get them. I told my daughter not to say anything to her at school because it will make things harder for her at school today(my daughter that is). I told her that I will take care of it. Her friend has it rough at home but I don't feel that it is my problem. I also don't feel that I should just let it go either. If this girl is stealing now I hate to think of how she will be the older she gets. So any idea on how I should handle it??

[Tiramisu]

That's a tough one. I think I would work a meeting with all four of you, so everything's out in the open and maybe the girl learns that she can't steal, lie, and cover things up. My main concern is that the girl might try to give your daughter a hard time at school?!

[Emmsmom]

Yeah thats what bothers me that she might say something to Emmie. I actually think that she would just ignore Emmie more than anything. As for all of us sitting down... Well that won't happen. Her mother doesn't really give a rip about what she does. I have only talked to her mom long enough to say hi and bye. She didn't even call to make sure that it was ok that she spent the night. She never even called to check on her or to even let her know what time to be home. They even have a lady from the court system coming over every now and then to talk to them. At this point I just want her clothes back. I feel sorry for her I really do. I don't mind helping her but not at the expense of my own daughter.

[Janet]

I would get the items back in a heart beat!!! By letting it go..you're condoning her actions. Next time she stays....(yes you can forgive her,) check her stuff before she leaves. I hope it all works out and you get the items back. Clothing is too expensive to just let someone take it.

[Dobie]

I definately think her mother should be involved. Bringing the items to school might cause problems for your daughter - who knows what would be said to the other kids.

[DianaB]

I think that I would go by the house when the girl's home from school and ask her to get the shirts that she has of your daughter's. Usually children are intimidated by adults so you might be able to get them back that a way. You can pretend that she borrowed them to the Mom and that you just wanted them returned to your daughter because they were special gifts. Then wait there until you have them in hand. Having your husband in the car with you might be good too. Or have him go up to the house and ask for the shirts. Men intimidate women. Good luck!