May lose job!!!

[Janet]

I'll try not to type a book. We have been friends with this family ever since my son and their oldest son were in kindergarten, they are best friends. Okay...last Thursday their middle son (9th grade) who has always caused me a few problems said some horrific things to an 8th grade girl. He told her she paid for sex, f***ed animals, was a c**k juggling whore and more. I skipped my steps of #1. a warning, #2. calling the parents, I went straight for #3 which is writing him up. I thought what he had said warranted this. He was given detention and I have him sitting in the front seat. It was obvious he doesn't know how to talk and treat others his age in the back of the bus.

Well, last night his mother called and said they would be taking the boys to and from school (I thought, this is great, no more problems) and I said Okay. Then she went off on me telling me I had no right to write him up without her knowing and that her boys don't lie or talk like that (he admitted it to the Assist. Princ.). I don't like to argue so I told her I did what I felt best and was not going to argue with her, then I hung up the phone.

She called back a minute later and I yelled for one of the boys to answer the phone and my husband did. She didn't say Hi or I need to talk with Janet, she just went straight into yelling at him saying her boys don't lie..I picked up the extension and told her not to bring my husband into this, it did not concern him and then I heard a "click." I said into the phone to my husband "what a b*t*h".

I then hung up the phone and went to talk with him. He asked what that was all about and said he heard me tell her not to bring him into it and then he hung up. I said: "You hung up?" He said yes! So it looks like she was the one still on the phone when I said "what a b*t*h" not my husband.

She is the type to not let things go and will probably try to get me fired. I love my job and love "my kids"! The only thing I can hope for is that IF she tells the higher authorities that they will listen to my explaination and believe me.

So, even though I still feel I did the right thing, the possibility is still there for me to lose my job. Please keep me in your prayers, I think I'm going to need them.

[RLC12345678]

OMG! Janet! I am SURE the higher authorities will believe you. I can almost guarantee that this is not the first time this has happened and the higher authorities will understand. I am sure the Asst. Prinicpal will vouch and say that the boy admitted to it. You don't have anything to worry about. She is a B*TCH!!!!! That is what is wrong with children these days....parents think their kids are ANGELS that they would NEVER do anything wrong! Instead, they need to punish their children and hold them accountable for their actions! You stand firm! Don't back down on this one, Janet! I will definately be keeping you in my prayers! When will you hear something?! Do you think you could talk to the higher authorities BEFORE she gets to them? ANd just give them a heads up and tell them that a parent is mad and that she might be coming to them? ANd give YOUR side of the story before she has a chance to get to them??

[Janet]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

OMG! Janet! I am SURE the higher authorities will believe you. I can almost guarantee that this is not the first time this has happened and the higher authorities will understand. I am sure the Asst. Prinicpal will vouch and say that the boy admitted to it. You don't have anything to worry about. She is a B*TCH!!!!! That is what is wrong with children these days....parents think their kids are ANGELS that they would NEVER do anything wrong! Instead, they need to punish their children and hold them accountable for their actions! You stand firm! Don't back down on this one, Janet! I will definately be keeping you in my prayers! When will you hear something?! Do you think you could talk to the higher authorities BEFORE she gets to them? ANd just give them a heads up and tell them that a parent is mad and that she might be coming to them? ANd give YOUR side of the story before she has a chance to get to them??

I did talk with the Assist Princ. she's very understanding and fair. You see, the boys and their mother already have a reputation at the school. No one wants to deal with her. I asked the Aisst. Princ. if I should talk with the Superint., but she advised me not to. Let them go in and state their feelings and then I can go in if they need me to. Who knows if they will even take it another step, she is one to do so, but no one knows what she'll do. I'm just going to take the Assist. Princ. advice and wait to see what happens. She is on my side, so that will help a lot!! It just makes me nervous to anticipate what may or may not happen.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Janet

I did talk with the Assist Princ. she's very understanding and fair. You see, the boys and their mother already have a reputation at the school. No one wants to deal with her. I asked the Aisst. Princ. if I should talk with the Superint., but she advised me not to. Let them go in and state their feelings and then I can go in if they need me to. Who knows if they will even take it another step, she is one to do so, but no one knows what she'll do. I'm just going to take the Assist. Princ. advice and wait to see what happens. She is on my side, so that will help a lot!! It just makes me nervous to anticipate what may or may not happen.

Oh, Janet! If the Asst. Principal is on YOUR side and that crazy woman already has a reputation, then you should have NOTHING to worry about!!!! Keep your chin up. You are a good person and that lady OBVIOUSLY is not! You will come out on top in the end, I'm sure.

[magnolia]

Janet,

You did the right thing - don't ever doubt that for a second! Most parents (if not all) can't face the possibility that their little "angels" would ever say or do a mean thing to another person - they are quick to defend their child and turn into protective "mother tigers" when they feel one of their "cubs" is in danger - not realizing their cub is the one causing the danger.

You have several things on your "side" (if you call sides) - the girl herself is a witness to what was said to her (as well as any friends/students sitting near her - provided they aren't afraid to step forward). Plus the kid admitted to the assistant principle he did in fact say those things. And last I checked, the use of your phone in your own home constitutes your personal property, not school property, and this is the land of the free which includes freedom of speech - you have the right to say what you want in your own home - it can't (or shouldn't) be made a part of what happened on the bus. The whole incident revolves around what was said on that bus and you did nothing wrong in handling it the way you did. Some things that happen do not merit a warning or a note to the parents - they are beyond that. If her child had gotten in a fist fight at school, I guarantee she would have received a call to come get her child as he was suspended for "X" number of days - no warning, no nothing - just come get him. I wonder if she'd cause this much fuss over an incident such as that. We, as parents, have no idea what are kids are saying or doing when they are not in our sight - we can only hope we have raised them to be wonderful individuals who treat everyone with respect.

Keep your chin up! From what you've written, I see no reason why any of the incidents that happened could cause you to lose your job! If anything, someone may say you should have given him a warning or contacted his parents first but I don't think so. Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way!

[Janet]

Thank you my dear friends! Your kind words really help.

It still causes me to worry, because even though it was my phone, in my home, I was representing the school in this situation and should have made sure it was she that hung up...not my husband.

I don't want to argue with her, but she really thinks she is right about her boys. Just because when she talks with them about a situation, and they all stand up for each other, then she says it's not them lying. I've written in posts before, that I truly don't lie! Too easy to get caught in them and it's humiliating. If we don't have our honesty and integrity...we have nothing!!!

I'm going to go about my daily business and hope it just all blows over, but it will take a few days for me to calm down and not worry about the "brick to fall."

I do love my job and even cry when my kids tell me they got their driver's license and won't be riding anymore. Most of my kids are GREAT kids.

[Carolyn]

Totally agree!! You should in no way shape or form lose your job for this!

Originally Posted by magnolia

Janet,

You did the right thing - don't ever doubt that for a second! Most parents (if not all) can't face the possibility that their little "angels" would ever say or do a mean thing to another person - they are quick to defend their child and turn into protective "mother tigers" when they feel one of their "cubs" is in danger - not realizing their cub is the one causing the danger.

You have several things on your "side" (if you call sides) - the girl herself is a witness to what was said to her (as well as any friends/students sitting near her - provided they aren't afraid to step forward). Plus the kid admitted to the assistant principle he did in fact say those things. And last I checked, the use of your phone in your own home constitutes your personal property, not school property, and this is the land of the free which includes freedom of speech - you have the right to say what you want in your own home - it can't (or shouldn't) be made a part of what happened on the bus. The whole incident revolves around what was said on that bus and you did nothing wrong in handling it the way you did. Some things that happen do not merit a warning or a note to the parents - they are beyond that. If her child had gotten in a fist fight at school, I guarantee she would have received a call to come get her child as he was suspended for "X" number of days - no warning, no nothing - just come get him. I wonder if she'd cause this much fuss over an incident such as that. We, as parents, have no idea what are kids are saying or doing when they are not in our sight - we can only hope we have raised them to be wonderful individuals who treat everyone with respect.

Keep your chin up! From what you've written, I see no reason why any of the incidents that happened could cause you to lose your job! If anything, someone may say you should have given him a warning or contacted his parents first but I don't think so. Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way!

They belive teacher over the children. If this boy said as you said he needed more than being writing up Plus his mom is b***H and she needed to be told that. I would not worry about if they were trouble NOBOBY will listern. I have some trouble out of my teenage son to and they always go buy what the teachers says I just tell them to do what they need to. Hang in there.

[Janet]

I just received a phone call from the Assist. Principal. She said she received a lengthy email and wanted me to read it so she wanted my email address. I'm expecting it any time now.

I guess it's started and now I just can't quit crying. I'm so upset with myself for not being more tolerant and professional in dealing with her, but it's very hard!.

[Necee419]

Originally Posted by Janet

I just received a phone call from the Assist. Principal. She said she received a lengthy email and wanted me to read it so she wanted my email address. I'm expecting it any time now.

I guess it's started and now I just can't quit crying. I'm so upset with myself for not being more tolerant and professional in dealing with her, but it's very hard!.

They BETTER NOT go any further with this unless they want a busload of women arriving from all over the U.S. to show up with picket signs.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Necee419

They BETTER NOT go any further with this unless they want a busload of women arriving from all over the U.S. to show up with picket signs.

You guys are so wonderful to me. God bless you all!!!

I do want to clarify that I thought she was the one that hung up, and I said what I said to my husband. I didn't know it was he who hung up and I said it to her. I would never have done that.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Necee419

They BETTER NOT go any further with this unless they want a busload of women arriving from all over the U.S. to show up with picket signs.

DITTO!!!!!!!!! I don't think she wants all us women ganging up on here! I am sure we can be vicious!

[magnolia]

Originally Posted by Janet

I just received a phone call from the Assist. Principal. She said she received a lengthy email and wanted me to read it so she wanted my email address. I'm expecting it any time now.

I guess it's started and now I just can't quit crying. I'm so upset with myself for not being more tolerant and professional in dealing with her, but it's very hard!.

View the sharing of the email as a good thing - the AP is wanting to keep you informed so there are no "surprises". She's on your side in this - supporting you 100% and that is so good to see The woman's history has definitely preceeded her in this incident and the AP knows it. I know it is upsetting to you, especially that she provoked you to the point she did on the phone. But - as was previously stated - she had no right to call you at home outside of school hours to harrass you further on the incident.....it is something that should have remained at school with the school officials. When she called you, she invaded your privacy (in my opinion) which left the door open for you to say what you did. I don't blame you for the words spoken - I blame her for stepping over the line and calling you at home. Things will work out - I have nothing but 100% confidence that they will!

Hang in there!

[Necee419]

I agree with what everyone else has said and wish to add that this woman had no right to call you in YOUR home and threaten or insult you. You were only defending yourself when you called her a "b***h" and she's lucky she didn't call me because I would NOT have been so nice. As for you losing your job over this, I highly doubt it. This woman has a reputation for being a troublemaker and your AP is standing by you. All of your years of professional service will count in your favor and I think an "offense" like the one you supposedly committed would not warrant getting fired over. Now if you had struck the boy or something drastic like that, maybe she'd have a leg to stand on. Please try not to worry and we are all praying for you and please keep us posted on the situation. Hugs to you.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Necee419

I agree with what everyone else has said and wish to add that this woman had no right to call you in YOUR home and threaten or insult you. You were only defending yourself when you called her a "b***h" and she's lucky she didn't call me because I would NOT have been so nice. As for you losing your job over this, I highly doubt it. This woman has a reputation for being a troublemaker and your AP is standing by you. All of your years of professional service will count in your favor and I think an "offense" like the one you supposedly committed would not warrant getting fired over. Now if you had struck the boy or something drastic like that, maybe she'd have a leg to stand on. Please try not to worry and we are all praying for you and please keep us posted on the situation. Hugs to you.

Thank you so much for your support. I'm still waiting on the email from the Assist. Principal. I'm just shaking and crying right now waiting on it to come through.