Please help me

[Lindsey]

I went to Kyle's house tonight. He was having a keg party in celebration of his house being all finished, and my ex boyfriend showed up. He was with another girl. She was not attractive at all. He was all over her right in front of me. People caught them having sex in the bathroom. Later someone came outside where we were all hanging out and said "hey do you want to stop ryden and that girl from having sex in your bed??" to Kyle and he went inside and came back and said "oh they're not having sex" and then I went to the bathroom and his bedroom door was STILL closed and they were nowhere to be found so I went to Kyle and said "Get them the f*ck out of your room NOW" and he said "well what am I supposed to say?" but he did go back there and got them out and they were ALL OVER each other saying goodbye to people and I was SO angry I grabbed my overnight bag from his room and told him I'm going. I went out on the street to wait for a cab, and my ex said goodbye to me and I said, after he already closed the door "f-you" and another friend's sister came up and gave me a hug and I said "How f-ing rude do you have to be to HAVE SEX with a girl in the bed you know your ex is sleeping in tonight"and she said she knows, he's a jerk, and right then her dad pulled up to give her a ride home. She said "just wait a minute" and she grabbed my hand and said I can't leave like that and took me in to talk to kyle. He said "whatever, she wants to leave, she can f-ing leave" and I was bawling and she said "You can't just leave her to take a cab home all alone! I don't care, she's alone, and she can't take a cab!" and he just said "whatever, she wants to go home, let her go" so she got her dad to drive me home. I'm bawling so hard I can barely see straight. I need to go cuddle with Layla now. I hope I can feel better. I'm sorry for rambling.

[Mandy]

Lindsey, sweetie - it shows you what type of person your ex, and hes new gf are, i seriously do not think they are your kind of people.
I wish i could tell you to stop mixing with them, but no one can tell you what to do.
You are a better class, and you should be proud of that.
There is so much more i would like to say to you, but i think for now, you have your head full enough, so i am going to just give you a loving hug, and will talk later.
I know it's VERY late/early for you at the moment, have a cup of tea, and go lay down with Layla.

Love ya!

[Janet]

Lindsey, I'm so sorry you're so upset. You don't deserve this.

With that being said...your ex and his girlfriend can do whatever they want. The only time you should have gotten upset was maybe when they went in Kyle's room, although you really shouldn't be in there either.

Don't be angry with Kyle, people change and say such hurtful things with alcohol in them. He can't be held responsible for what he said or how he acted...he can only be held responsible for drinking.

When you talk to Kyle about his, don't come at him in an accusing tone. Just calmly let him know how you feel and then drop it. That's why alcohol and relationships (or anything for that matter) don't mix.

((((hugs))))

[Dobie]

I wish I had something more positive to say - but after reading your posts about this relationship - I really think you need to re-evaluate it. Over the years I've worked with many young women that have stayed in bad relationships that have escalated to very ugly situations - I know you didn't ask for opinions on your relationship, but I feel the need to say it anyway.

It seems like it is a relationship built on drama, disrespect and verbal abuse. You guys seem to go through periods that you say you are happy, but they always seem to follow a huge blowout where he has been very inappropriate with you - that's one of the classic signs in an abusive relationship.

I don't really understand the craziness of last night for a few reasons. If you have issues with the ex, why was he invited to your party? I think you need to ask yourself why you became so upset that your ex was all over his current girlfriend, I can see that the behavior would be considered rather disgusting (but to be expected at a party with a lot of alcohol), your reaction seemed to be more out of jealousy.

Kyle's behavior outside his apartment is the most troubling - does he really not care how his girlfriend gets home from a party? The language that he uses when referring to you is unacceptable - I understand that people use profanity, but the F word when referring to your partner really is very disrespectful.

I'm sorry if I've come across as harsh, butyou seem like a bright young woman and it would be a shame if you lost your personality in an attempt to keep Kyle happy.

[Lindsey]

It was Kyle's party and my ex went because he is friends with Kyle, they work together. I wasn't jealous about the girl, we've been broken up for a long time and we're not FRIENDS but we are civil with each other. He is not someone I would ever want to date again. I just think it was absolutely disrespectful for him to be like that with a girl in my boyfriend's house and on my boyfriend's BED. We're not college students and it wasn't a loud crazy party. There were about 25 to 30 of Kyle's friends who came over to have a few drinks in celebration of his house finally getting all finished. We're all adults and everyone was acting like it except my ex. It was absolutely disrespectful for him to act like that, and everyone was feeling uncomfortable. I was trying to ignore it but him going into Kyle's bedroom with that girl and closing the door was the last straw.

[Mandy]

Lindsey, i have to agree with Dobie, when a person calls hes wife or girlfriend using the F word in front of the name, is extermely disrespectful, and i find that quite disturbing.
The fact that he said, he doesnt care how you get home, makes me wonder what he does care about?
What Kyle did is very rude, and childish, the only thing he should be caring for is you, and the relationship he has with you.
If it meant he has to break hes friendship with your ex, then so be it.
He's future is not with your ex, but with you.
In respect to you, he should have asked your ex, and hes girlfriend to get out of hes bedroom, and leave hes house.
If he is a true friend to Kyle, what was he doing is the bedroom in the first place? Why would anyone for that matter want to go to a bedroom while they are invited to someone elses home! Thats wrong period!

Lindsey, do yourself a huge favour, and have some quiet, alone time to think things through properly, give yourself some space.
Think about yourself, and your own self respect.

HUGS!!