Friend of My Son's Arrested

[Janet]

News story http://www.ftimes.com/main.asp?Searc...tionID=244&S=1

Above is the story of a neighbor and former friend of my son's. He just lives around the corner from us. When this young man was in the 3rd grade he called my son (they both sat together on the bus since kindergarten) on the phone. I told Brad that Ricky was busy and I would have him call him back. I personally don't think 3rd graders should be spending time on the phone, but would let Ricky talk for a few minutes. When Ricky didn't call him back, this kid yelled at me when I answered the phone saying "why didn't you tell him to call me back." Needless to say I told this kid never to call our house again unless it pertained to riding the bus.

I also talked with his parents about it. No kid is going to talk to me like that and think it's an okay thing. My son was also not allowed to sit with him on the bus any more after that.

As they grew older, I did let Ricky work on school projects with him, but he was not allowed to have him as a 'great' friend...just wasn't going to happen. I just had a feeling about this kid.

For the last two years...this blonde headed boy dyed his hair black and went "Gothic"...looked like the devils child if you know what I mean and he was doing some drugs, to what extent I don't know. Anyway..toward the end of last year, he started dressing and acting like a normal human being again. I thought he was beginning to change for the better. Now this and it looks like he was involved in other crimes too.

I feel so bad for his parents. What does one say to them if we were to see each other? Except to say that we're sorry they are going through this.

I'm so glad I kept a tight rein on my son...still do. My older brother always told me I was too hard on him, but my reply to my brother was.."oh let him do what he wants, when he wants and let him talk to me like crap like your daughters do you???? No thanks...I've learned what not to do by watching you."

I may have been a little too tight on the reins at times, but I think kids need that. This boy's mother gave him anything and everything he wanted. I made my son earn things so he could learn pride. I'm sorry to go on and on, but I am so diappointed in Brad, his parents and this whole situation. He's a straight A student, now he has a felony record.

[katcarasella]

Janet, I totally agree with you!!!!!

"I may have been a little too tight on the reins at times, but I think kids need that. This boy's mother gave him anything and everything he wanted. I made my son earn things so he could learn pride. I'm sorry to go on and on, but I am so diappointed in Brad, his parents and this whole situation. He's a straight A student, now he has a felony record"

What a shame, so young!!!!!

[Tink]

Good for you Janet. Had you taken a different approach your son might well have taken a different path as well.

[teri88]

As a "tight reign" parent myself I know it's not always easy. My son never has had the freedom some of his friends have. He still has an 11 pm curfew on weekends and 10 on school nights, at almost 18. It's not easy being the only parent who demands respect. But, it's sure worth it, isn't it? As for what to say to the parents, I'd just say "sorry to hear about your trouble. I'm here if you need anything". I'm sure they are mortified. What a shame he has put them through this.

I think if I was the councilman, I'd be a bit upset tht the paper printed he was in Spiderman boxer shorts tee hee

[DianaB]

I think that as mother's we have to listen to our intuition and yours was speaking loud and clear to you about this boy! You had every right to be concerned and did a good job of steering your son clear of trouble. You're to be applauded for your efforts!!

[Mandy]

Janet, dont feel bad for being tight on the reins, that way we teach the kids to have respect for others, ive never been able to understand how parents can let "kids do as they please" they need rules, routine, and know they can come to us with anything thats bothering them.
I believe, by being a "in control" parent myself, the kids will only benifit from this kind of upbringing later on.
They need to learn responsibility at an early age, or else they will never learn it!